09/20/2026
Another fun little competition we had during Week 10 & our Spirit Week!
See below for details & results! Congratulations!
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We’re A Winner of a Gym!
Dateline: Saturday September 19, 2026
What: Farrell's Urbandale 10 Week Party
Where: Doc's Lounge Johnston Iowa
Subject: Student Body Council Election Results
Your new FXB Urbandale Student Body Council Election results were announced as follows:
President-Martin Roth, running as the SWOLE candidate, (it’s an acronym folks) got a big pair of arms up on the competition through hard work and the clever collaboration of a Level III Campaign Manager and prevailed in the final tally, tally ho.
Vice President-John Riemenschneider, who championed a law and order back the blue and back the back campaign, though critics have speculated he could have capitalized on his “Stay with me” signature catch phrase such as “Stay with me, Vote with me” messages or catitalized the cat 🐈⬛ lovers’ vote by featuring his cat Selena in a more forward facing role in his campaign, finished in second place.
Secretary-Rob Wilson, a red bearded dark horse candidate who came out of no where without campaigning, seemingly running on his populist populism popularity alone, on the final turn to a third place finish. Being married to a past Farrell’s Urbandale Miss Congeniality winner probably doesn’t hurt either.
Treasurer-Robert Powell, a latecomer to the campaign who's Powell Doctrine of Love and nonetheless nitwit di**it drywit carried him across the finish line with nary a hint of financial aptitude or acumen, will now be in charge of our Student Body Treasury. What could go wrong? Nothing bad can happen. It can only good happen
Class Clown-Kenny Dennis, in a system shocking massive surprise, someone or someones voted, and I quote, “Kenny Dennis Class Clown”🤡 enough times that he tied for Fourth Place with Robert Powell for Treasurer. While one might think Mr. Dennis’s vast experience in the Global Finance and Banking Industry would make him a shoe in for the Treasurer position, there were bigger shoes 👞, and I mean big floppy shoes, to fill in the aforementioned Class Clown 🤡 position, so Mr. Dennis easily won that by a nose, a big red squeaky nose, to be sure.
Congratulations one and all. Our hearts, minds and bodies go out to all of the winners of this Student Body Council Election.
And as I said before, you will not be alone in your endeavors in Student Body government. When you win a Student Body Council seat we’re going to be spending a lot of time together…lots and lots and lots of time. President, Vice President, Secretary, Treasurer, Class Clown and me as you know, Advisor. Harmonious and productive. Close and special. You and I…
This was posted before the competition started about the competition…
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Attention Student Body Council Voters:
The FXB-U University High School Student Body Council Election begins Monday September 14 and runs through the last class on Saturday September 19.
Please vote for the FXB Student Body Member who best exemplifies the immortal words of one of our past Presidents, Pedro Sanchez who put it best:
“If you vote for me, all of your wildest dreams will come true."
Remember, you get one vote for each class attendance (in person or virtual) and one bonus vote for participating in the daily Spirit Week Theme. Your signing up in Club Ready and checking in at the front desk serves as your voter registration.
You may vote for one of the declared candidates or write ✍️ in the name of any Member. Please use only one of the provided Ticonderoga #2 pencils ✏️ provided for obvious reasons.
If you want to win a seat on the Student Body Council, and you are into gamification, there are legitimate strategies to get more votes. I won’t divulge said strategies here, but if you think about it, you can probably figure some out yourself.
Please do not waste your vote on me. I will be serving as special Spiritual Coach, Advisor and Mentor to the Student Body Council, building upon my many past years of molding and shaping young men and women’s student bodies. Think of me as like your funny uncle, but only metaphorically, of course.
Accordingly, I shall not seek, and I will not accept, the nomination of my gym for a term as on officer of your Student Body Council.
In conclusion, to paraphrase one of our other past Presidents, Tracy Flick, let me express my thoughts on working with the new Student Body Council,
“When you win s Student Body Council seat we're gonna be spending a lot of time together... Lots and lots and lots of time. President, Vice President, Secretary and Treasurer and advisor. Harmonious and productive. Close and special. You and I."
Now get out there and vote 🗳️ and make this the best election of 2026!
Raise your hand if there are any questions.
Some of the fun posters below…
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