09/06/2026
TNT – 9th June Update
What a night it was, ladies and gentlemen. The weather forecast was correct, which immediately raised suspicions. Not a drop of rain, all courts in action, and somewhere in the middle of it all we witnessed a "sextuple". No, calm down. This is a family tennis competition.
At the top of the ladder we now have a dead heat. Brock and Brendon W stand shoulder to shoulder on 104 points. Reagan is lurking dangerously one point behind on 103. Garry F occupies third, Maso sits fourth on 100, and Jayson rounds out the top five on 95 points. It's tighter than the lid on a pickle jar at a retirement village.
Now, about this sextuple. Apparently it's the official term for six of something. Six wins, six babies, six garden gnomes, who knows. Whoever invented the word clearly looked at "sixtuple" and thought, "No, that's not awkward enough." Regardless, six players achieved perfect rounds. Brendon W, Garry F, Marcus, REDO, Troy and Eliza all scored maximum points. Six perfect rounds. That's nearly one per court. I've seen less efficiency from organised crime syndicates.
Around the courts...
Court 3 featured Lauren, Marcus, Ashley and Maso. Players reportedly drew straws to determine who would partner Maso and his patented double-fault delivery service. The short straws lost. Scores of 6-5, 6-4 and 6-3 kept things close all evening. Marcus emerged victorious with 18 points, Ashley collected 15, Lauren 14 and Maso 13. Coincidentally, 13 was also the number of second serves Maso considered optional.
Court 9 welcomed back Lauren G alongside Meg, Brendon and Tom. Brendon grabbed a perfect 18, but player of the night honours belonged to Meg, who was seen covering so much court that several spectators assumed she was playing on two courts simultaneously.
Court 5 belonged to Troy with a perfect 18. Brendan finished on 10 while Craig B and Jayson each gathered 8 points. Authorities are still investigating where the missing points went.
Court 1 housed the top dogs. Miles led with 16 points, Reagan followed with 15, Nathan secured 14 and Wayne returned from overseas to collect 9. During the evening several members of the court claimed they spotted LeBron James playing on Court 3. Toxicology reports are pending.
Court 8. What we do know is Eliza was the undisputed star of the night with a perfect 18. Witnesses estimate she ran approximately two kilometres during a single point. Several ball kids required oxygen just watching.
Court 7 saw Brock appear in an unusually subdued shirt, causing concern amongst fashion experts. Despite this, he still managed 17 points. John S and Brad each scored 15, Matt B finished with 11, and all players produced outstanding tennis. John S also used enough anti-inflammatory cream to qualify as a sponsored athlete.
Court 2, REDO secured 18 points. As a precaution, a text message was sent to Lyn advising her to wear industrial-grade earmuffs because REDO was expected to recount every point, every rally and possibly every footstep when arriving home. Ben H scored 13, Macca 12 and Fernando 9.
Court 4 was the last to finish and probably the last to leave. Garry F claimed a perfect 18, Curtis L finished on 15, Roman 14 and Michael S 13. Yet another court producing 6-5, 6-4 and 6-3 scorelines. Statistically speaking, it was closer than a family argument over Monopoly.
Only two weeks remain.
Will we see another change at the top of the ladder?
Will we see another metour saw across the night sky
Will Maso spend the entire week perfecting his double-fault technique?
Will Brock visit Lowes in search of a shirt visible from space?
Will John S finally exhaust Australia's supply of anti-inflammatory cream?
Only time will tell.
And remember: in TNT, nobody is safe. Except the weather forecaster. This week. See less
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