07/13/2026
The burden of unspoken expectations feels a bit like wearing that gifted sweater Great Aunt Betty got you
There’s that family obligation to wear it
But secretly, you hate every minute of it
It itches
It smells like her house
And it’s just… not you
After the baby was born, my partner and I had a conversation about childcare. We decided together that, I would become the primary caregiver during the workday
It made sense
And for a while, it worked
As someone who had already raised two children, I naturally approached parenting with more trust. I let baby explore, discover, and make mistakes. I loved watching him wander into Dad’s office, climb onto his lap, or crawl across his back
I thought it was sweet
But over time, our cohabitation stopped feeling easeful
My partner seemed frustrated. He would jump up to redirect our son and then become irritated that I wasn’t watching more closely
I felt edgy and watchful
My body was constantly scanning—trying to manage my son and anticipate my partner’s reactions
It was exhausting
Neither of us had actually talked about what was happening
One evening, when baby was asleep, we finally did
I learned that what felt endearing to me felt distracting to him
We realized we weren’t struggling with childcare
We were living inside two different sets of expectations that had never been spoken aloud
Once we could see that, everything softened
We rearranged our space
We adjusted our rhythms
We stopped assuming and started communicating
And once again, I was reminded how BRILLIANT my body is
The uneasiness I’d been experiencing wasn’t asking me to become better or do more
It was asking me to become curious
To me, that’s embodiment
It’s not just slowing down or feeling more present
It’s recognizing that a clenched jaw
A distracted mind
Walking on eggshells
A loss of ease
…aren’t inconveniences to push through
They’re data. Data inviting us toward the conversation, the boundary, or the change we’ve been avoiding
Because without honesty, it’s easy to lose precious pieces of self
