10/03/2026
Something I’ve never talked about before is how much I’ve struggled with my body image.
Before I got pregnant, I was really hard on myself privately. I compared my strength to aerialists who were literally training every day. My BMI was “too high” and put me in the overweight category. (BMI is a crock of s**t btw. It was created in the 1800s using measurements of European men and was never meant to measure individual health. Plus muscle is denser than fat, so the scale is a pretty useless way to judge how fit I am.)
I was ashamed of even feeling this way, because there are bigger bodies than mine and I don’t believe in bikini body culture. Now I’m 5 months postpartum, and I’ve been going through old videos to schedule content here and OMG. My body looked freaking amazing and I did NOT see or feel it at the time. That now seems so crazy to me.
During pregnancy I could feel relaxin loosening everything. My grip quickly stopped feeling trustworthy, and I was SO breathless from the smallest things, like going up stairs.
My body kept changing and growing with my daughter, and then I gave birth with no pain relief. Literally the hardest thing I have EVER done.And then, omg, recovery. I can’t believe I haven’t slept more than 2–4 hours at a time for the past 5 months. The bleeding, the adult diapers, my pelvic floor giving way those first few days, learning how to breastfeed!
Bounce-back culture shows mums with bodies as strong as before, or even stronger. That hasn’t been my experience.
What I do have is so much more appreciation for what my body is capable of. I look back at how fit and mobile I was before, then the pregnancy and birth, and I get to use all of that to rebuild myself now, even when it’s frustrating.
I’m so proud of my body and everything it has done and can do. 🤍
