02/06/2026
If I asked you to describe someone you know who is resilient, what would you say?
The chances are, you'd use phrases like "bounce back" and "determined", maybe "courageous". And there's a very good chance that you'd consider resilience a personality trait, rather than a learned skill.
One of my favourite authors is Martin Seligman, father of Positive Psychology. Seligman's research on Learned Optimism has found that one of the reasons some people recover quickly from adversity and others stay stuck results from differences in their explanatory style - how we explain what happens in our world.
⏸️ People with an optimistic explanatory style tend to see setbacks as temporary, specific and circumstantial.
🛑 People with a pessimistic explanatory style tend to see them as permanent, widespread and personal.
Imagine you come home after a long, busy day. Your hands are full of grocery bags and as you navigate your way up the stairs the cat rushes past, your phone starts ringing, you trip and the dozen eggs you just bought are now broken, oozing all over the stairs.
In that moment, what do you say to yourself?
"I guess no eggs for dinner then. Next time I'll take 2 trips." OR
"I'm so clumsy, I should have known this would happen."
If you tend towards a more pessimistic explanatory style, the great news is that friend, your style is not fixed. It is a skill, which can be developed and strengthened.
You can start simply by noticing the story you tell yourself the next time something does not go to plan. Catch the story. Is it serving you? If not, challenge yourself to find a version that is more resourceful.
Step by step, setback by setback, we can build our optimistic explanatory style and learn to choose our response. 🩷
(And buy more eggs.) 🥚
