Love and Grief with Pravas

Love and Grief with Pravas Creating a conversation
around the unique experience of love and grief. My lived experience of grief began at age 5 when my Mother died.

A large life filled with all that life offers including relationship, parenting including all the highs and lows of what I call " The Human Experience"

That Human Experience" has moulded me into the Sage I am today. At age 27 my first child died at 13 months of age after being diagnosed with a life threatening condition at 6 months. This was at a time in the 1970's when there were no support se

rvices and I lived through participating in hospital treatments for my dying child. I then buried my child and watching his coffin being lowered thinking how back to front this was and it should be me as the parent being buried. Some 20 years ago my father died and one year ago my only sibling, my older brother, died. A lived experience of an office siege over 10 hours in the early 1990's triggered what I call my "Black Hole " which I climbed into, sat in then made another choice and climbed out beginning another life with excellent professional support. Then the spiritual quest kicked in which led to exploration of numerous religious belief systems and spiritual practices. Such was my passion for exploration that my friends would greet me with" What religion are you this month?" A cathartic experience was triggered at a Buddhist weekend retreat around Death and hell realms. I shared this with a friend who simply said " Your ready" and gave me two books. One year later I am travelling to India for one month which also contributed to my grand life experience. On December 25 1999 I received the name Swami Prem Pravas which translated from Sanskrit means Love the Journey. Whilst I still retain my legal given name I use Pravas as my preferred name.This was a profound experience of various meditation techniques where I found moving meditations were the perfect way for me to go within. In the mid 1990's I discovered an open Mens group. This led me to a space of men supporting men in a healthy wholesome way with respect and integrity. Within this structure I trained and became a Group facilitator for structured mens groups. Such groups ran one evening a week for 9 weeks and I have facilitated a large number over many years. With my passion around raising awareness of life, death and grief I have created what I call a " Playshop" on this topic where I give participants an opportunity to be gently reminded of their mortality. I have presented this " Playshop" to the general public and also at various weekend gatherings over 20 years.

19/04/2026

A song triggered grief in a small public setting.
The tears quickly transformed perfectly to joy
A wonderful reminder..

05/07/2025

Life is Eternal and filled with Joy.
I look forward to every moment!

Quote Louise L Hay

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01/07/2025

A Stevie Wonder song of 1973 "You are the sunshine of my life" was on the car radio today.
It brought both grief and joy as I was reminded of my infant son Kevin.
I remember singing this song to him now some 52 years ago.
The overwhelming feeling is joy and celebration in having Kevin in my life.

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08/05/2025

I am a bereaved child, parent, adult son, adult sibling in chronological order.
My learning was the primary absence of that person from my everyday life.
The other aspect was my family relationship with the Deceased. Example the grief for my son is different to my father.
For my young son it was the loss of a lifetime of anticipated experiences that never happened.
For my father it was remembering all the moments we shared coupled with noting the moments I did not share as I made other choices not to se him whilst he was still alive.
These insights come with a mixture of grief and joy as I celebrate the presence, short or long, of all these amazing family members.

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07/05/2025

Whilst grieving I always did my best based on my world view current at that time.
On a scale of 1 to 10 some days my functioning varied within that range.
My awareness is that was the best I could do and I am comfortable with that variation without criticizing of belittling myself in my grief process.

OTHERS DOING THEIR BEST
Applying the same perspective the others around me were doing their best to support me but in a well meaning clumsy uncomfortable manner.
This perhaps reflected their own confrontation with death and grief and I was the living reminder of that.

COMMENT
In my view our society in general does not handle death and grief well as this fails to serve the bereaved and those around them.
My understanding is the best support to the bereaved is by your presence.

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14/04/2025

A different perspective from a friend.

If we celebrate the day someone was born we call it their Birthday.

Why then do we not, when some one dies, mark it by calling it their Death Day?

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14/04/2025

It is not the role of the grieving to be responsible for the feelings of those around them.

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08/04/2025

Gratitude. Mens Wellbeing have accepted my workshop Dancing with Death at Manshine Gathering May Day weekend. Joyous news

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25/03/2025

Funerals/life celebration. Today at coffee shop i complimented a man wearing a large bright colourful Hawian shirt.
He responded that he was going to a funeral /life celebration where the deceased had requested bright vibrant colours to be worn in celebration of their life.
He felt uplifted with this request and was enthusiastic about a Joyous life celebration for his friend.

Question:
How do you want people to dress at your life celebration?

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16/03/2025

Nick Cave book "Faith Hope and Carnage"
A quote page 151
"Grief reinvents us.
When I say grief i mean the second life we lead after trauma.
It feels more essential.
The way we respond to things are altered."

i concur from my lived experience.
How do you feel about this quote?

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