10/23/2026
🚨 BREAKING NEWS: SHARK SURVIVED HIS FIRST YEAR OF BEING AN ABSOLUTE MENACE. 🦈🌭🎂
Happy 1st Birthday to Shark, our favorite little four-legged du***ss! 🥳
365 days on this earth and not a single brain cell has been located. He’s just as stupid as the day we brought him home, but we’re proud to announce that he might be pi***ng on the floor slightly less. 🏆💦
Dakota even made him a birthday cake, because apparently being unemployed, contributing absolutely nothing to society, and occasionally using the house as a toilet deserves a celebration. 🎂😂
Here’s to another year of questionable decisions, zero thoughts behind those eyes, and hopefully fewer puddles.
We love you, you little idiot. ❤️🌭