09/08/2026
What I Heard at Starbucks Should Concern Every Pastor
his morning, I sat in a Starbucks working through emails and preparing for several meeting when I overheard a conversation that stopped me in my tracks. A church staff member was speaking candidly about a local senior pastor in the most horrific way. The comments weren’t flattering. There was frustration in the voice, disappointment in the tone, and exhaustion underneath it all. Ordinarily, I might have dismissed it as an isolated incident. Every organization has difficult relationships, and every leader has critics. But several weeks ago, I witnessed a remarkably similar conversation involving a different church staff member and a different local pastor. Different people. Different churches. Same frustration. As I listened, I couldn’t help but wonder if these conversations are symptoms of something much larger happening in churches across the country.
Most church staff members don’t enter ministry looking for recognition, wealth, or easy schedules. They enter ministry because they believe in the mission. They want to help people encounter Christ. They want to serve the local church and support the vision of their pastors. Yet somewhere along the way, many find themselves exhausted, discouraged, and questioning whether the cost of ministry is sustainable. You can search hundreds of podcasts and books on this subject, vocational ministry is a 24/7 job. Truthfully, a 36/7 for many.
The uncomfortable truth is that many churches have created cultures where staff members are expected to sacrifice endlessly in the name of ministry. The church calendar is packed with events, conferences, retreats, special services, outreach initiatives, volunteer trainings, hob-knobbing, and leadership gatherings. Every event may be worthwhile on its own, but collectively they create a pace that few people can maintain for long.
Behind every successful event is a staff member who stayed late, worked a weekend, answered emails after hours, or missed time with family. While church members often see the finished product, they rarely see the personal cost paid by those responsible for making it happen.
Many church staff members are carrying responsibilities that would command significantly higher salaries in the marketplace. They do it because they believe in the church. They do it because they love the people they serve. But passion is not an unlimited resource. Eventually, exhaustion catches up with even the most dedicated ministry leaders.
Pastors need to understand something that is rarely said out loud: your staff is watching how you lead. They notice whether you protect their time or consume it. They notice whether family values are merely preached from the platform or actually practiced within the organization. They notice whether rest is encouraged or quietly discouraged through unrealistic expectations. They notice whether the pressure to produce more ministry activity ever seems to stop. And yes, they notice when they are carrying the weight of the ministry while leadership appears disconnected from the burden. I’ve witnessed this first hand and now am hearing the stories in local coffee shops.
This isn’t a criticism of pastors taking vacations. Every leader needs rest. In fact, healthy pastors should take vacations. The concern arises when staff members feel abandoned, overworked, and under-supported while being asked to sustain an event-driven culture that never slows down. When that happens, resentment grows. Not because staff members don’t love the church, but because they begin to feel that their sacrifices are expected rather than appreciated.
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This morning, I sat in a Starbucks working through emails and preparing for several meeting when I overheard a conversation that stopped me…
