Coleman Housefield Coaching

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Emotional Regulation Coach
I help couples, parents, and leaders regulate their emotions so they can create the best relationships of their lives with the people they care about the most.

I was on a plane flight recently and got lucky enough to sit near this mom who was traveling with 2 kids all by herself....
09/07/2026

I was on a plane flight recently and got lucky enough to sit near this mom who was traveling with 2 kids all by herself.

I wasn’t on the same row, the mom and her kids had their own row but I was one row back and across the aisle, close enough to hear and see all the chaos that ensued on that 4 hour flight.

This mom’s youngest child was screaming, writhing, acting absolutely feral about 75% of the 4 hour flight time.

I watched (and felt a deep empathy only parents who’ve been through something like this can feel) as the mom bounced her heels up and down in rapid succession.

This was her physical body’s way of trying to process all the dysregulation she was feeling without her even knowing it.

The mom never stopped moving the whole flight, even when the kids would relax a little I watched her physical body continue to pulse as she did her best to release all the dysreguation she was absorbing from her child (and likely all the judgement she was feeling from the people around her on the flight).

It’s an impossible situation for this mom and yet every parent must navigate a version of this themselves with their kids.

I certainly had to with my kids.

If you’re a parent, you’ve been here before too. Maybe not on a plane but a similar situation with your kids in the grocery store, at the doctor’s office, a friends home.

The locations change, the situation stays the same: your child is losing it and you’re trying to remain calm and composed instead of losing it yourself.

Read the full story -> https://colemanhousefield.substack.com/p/the-mom-on-the-plane-everyone-was?r=3lwl99&utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web

Photo by Suhyeon Choi on Unsplash

You are the actual threat and you’re creating emotions in your body with what you’re thinking, mostly unconsciously.If y...
09/02/2026

You are the actual threat and you’re creating emotions in your body with what you’re thinking, mostly unconsciously.

If you feel anxious often, you are not safe with you.

If you feel overwhelmed regularly, you are not safe with you.

Still not convinced? Let me give you a few examples that you can relate to and connect with in your own life.

You don’t feel safe with you may surface in your own life as:

- I can never get it right, my husband or wife is always pointing out my flaws

- My boss is disappointed in my work and now I feel overwhelmed and anxious

It’s not actually your spouse or your boss that you don’t feel safe with, it’s you.

Read the whole story -> https://colemanhousefield.substack.com/p/theres-no-such-thing-as-selfless?r=3lwl99&utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web

Photo by Michael Fenton on Unsplash

Recently my dad, (my son’s grandpa) offered to take my son and his cousins to the museum. He didn’t say which museum and...
08/25/2026

Recently my dad, (my son’s grandpa) offered to take my son and his cousins to the museum.

He didn’t say which museum and my son has been to some fun museums so he was really excited to go.

When my son returned home from the museum I noticed he seemed bummed so I asked him how it went.

Tears started falling down his little 8 year old cheeks and he said, “it wasn’t fun, it was boring”. My son had such high expectations for the museum experience and reality just did not live up to what he anticipated.

I have two ways that I would historically respond to my kids in this state:

Make it about selfishness and a lack of gratitude - You should be grateful your grandfather took you to the museum. You’re so ungrateful. Lots of kids would love to go to a museam with their grandpa!

Try to rescue my kids from the uncomfortable emotions asap (because I’m feeling uncomfortable with their discomfort) - It’s okay buddy, I’ll take you to a fun museum later this week. Or maybe we can do something fun this afternoon after I’m done with work.

In each of these approaches I’m completely missing my son. I’m missing that it’s not about selfishness or a lack of gratitude.

It’s not about rescuing him from the discomfort of disappointment (although that may be what he thinks he wants in the moment).

What my son needs most in this moment is a dad who can sit with him in the emotions that he’s feeling and be okay with it.

Read the full story -> https://colemanhousefield.substack.com/p/the-hardest-and-best-thing?r=3lwl99&utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web

Photo by Vimar Martinez on Unsplash

For all 3 of my children I’ve noticed a pattern: they avoid the emotional pain or discomfort from someone else.When Abby...
08/24/2026

For all 3 of my children I’ve noticed a pattern: they avoid the emotional pain or discomfort from someone else.

When Abby and I are having an argument, my kids leave the room.

When one of their siblings is crying, they try to put as much distance between them and their sibling as possible.

When one of their siblings is having an angry tirade, they leave the room immediately.

This isn’t learned behavior, this is instinct.

This is their nervous system detecting a threat and signaling them to move away from the threat to somewhere safer.

It’s survival instincts.

What’s interesting is the pattern is completely different for physical injuries.

When my kids notice that one of their siblings is hurt physically they often lean in and try to help or come get me or my wife.

There seems to be something about emotional pain without a physical injury that instinctively causes them to move away.

I think it’s because emotional pain in someone else feels unsolvable.

Read the full story -> https://colemanhousefield.substack.com/p/youre-not-running-away-from-them?r=3lwl99&utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web

Photo by Chris Nemeth on Unsplash

08/20/2026

Your beliefs form in the body and you don't even know it.

08/17/2026

The hardest part of parenting is remaining calm when your kid is losing it.

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