01/11/2026
2xv match report provided as per by Strathavens Poet Laureate Mr Jonny Kenny- Halloween Edition.
🎃💀 HALLOWEEN HORROR SHOW IN GREENOCK! 💀🎃
🏉 Greenock 2nd XV 12 – 59 Strathaven 2nd XV
FOUR GAMES. FOUR VICTIMS. 🪦
Strathaven’s unbeaten run continued with another Halloween massacre on the road!
The horror began before kick-off with some truly frightening karaoke confessions during the warm-up. Meanwhile, Ben, Mac and Robbie arrived 15 minutes before kick-off after Ben’s car needed jump-started. Rumour has it he left it running for the full 80 minutes.
Greenock drew first blood, but skipper Buffet strolled over before producing a conversion attempt straight from a horror film. Mossy glided through, Mac finished off a lovely Luke offload, and Gangster John raced down the wing before declaring himself a “cheat code” against 13 men. Embarrassing.
A Greenock veteran attempted two decapitations in 90 seconds and seemed genuinely shocked to receive a yellow. Gloves later joined him in the sin bin, presumably for his knee-length undershorts.
Half-time: 5–26.
The second half was a graveyard shift for Greenock. Mac and Mossman helped themselves to two tries each, while Buffet produced a potential Puskás Award winner, running from try line to try line. 🏆
Elsewhere, Mac and Beans had a domestic, Beans was accused of wearing his sister’s socks, and Pistol Pete and James departed with a medical diagnosis of “rough as f**k”. 🚑
MOTM Ali McLean was outstanding, with bone-crunching tackles, safe hands under the high ball and some powerful carries.
Credit to Greenock, who battled to the bitter end despite the mounting body count and earned a deserved consolation try.
💀 FULL-TIME: 12–59
🪦 Played 4. Won 4. Four teams buried.
Next victim: Cambuslang – 14th November.
The Grim Reaper isn’t finished yet… ☠️🏉
