Coaching with Tom

02/04/2026

I have been reflecting lately on the contrast between my past life in the corporate world and my life now, guiding and coaching in the mountains.

Back then, I felt a constant pressure to have immediate answers. If I was stuck on a problem, I simply worked longer hours at my desk. I see now how much I needed to step away and let my mind rest.

I have put together a new blog post exploring this. It looks at why we need time for our thoughts to 'incubate', and how letting go of the pressure to solve things instantly often leads to better clarity.

In the post, I share a few different ways I try to find this space now. Sometimes it is the steady rhythm of a hike. Other times, it is the challenge of sitting quietly in a 'sit spot' in the woods, or the shared vulnerability of sitting around a fire with a group, dropping our daily scaffolding.

If you are feeling stuck on something this week, maybe try closing the laptop and taking a walk outside to see what emerges.

You can read my full reflections here:

24/03/2026

Does this month feel like a bit of a blur to anyone else? Have you reached peak flail?

There is a concept I talk about sometimes called the "Cognitive Tunnel." It happens when we get so focused on just "getting through" the week that we lose our peripheral vision.

We wake up, we rush, we execute, we sleep. Repeat.

It’s an effective mode for survival. But it seems to me that it’s a difficult mode for actually living. When we stay in the tunnel too long, we might find we are missing the view entirely.

I’m trying to catch myself today. To take a breath and look around, rather than just looking ahead.

How do you deal with the business of your life?

—--

I’m Tom Goldstein, a coach based in the mountains of Chamonix, supporting people who are ready to find their way back to themselves. We talk about the hard stuff - the burnout, the masks we wear, and how to find a little more aliveness in the daily grind.
I’m currently offering a Seasonal Rate to make this support more accessible right now. If you’ve been looking for a partner to help you navigate this chapter, just send me a message. Let’s have a chat.

21/11/2025

I have been changing a lot this year!

Some of it has been intentional, some of it unexpected, and a lot of it has come from finally paying attention to the quieter parts of myself that I’ve ignored for years.

👀 Most of us think identity is fixed, or that change is difficult.

💥 Actually identity is shaped by what we recall about ourself.

Not just the big memories, but the subtle ones:

💬 The stories you tell yourself without even realising.

💬 The repeated moments your mind holds onto because, at some point, they kept you safe.

You remember the times you held back:

💬 The moments you felt not quite enough.

💬 The situations where you had to stay quiet, be strong, or fit in.

💬 And without realising it, those memories shape how you show up today — how you speak, how you choose, what you trust, and what you avoid.

This year I’ve been learning something different:

💬 Change doesn’t come from forcing myself to think differently.

💬 It comes from experiencing myself differently.

💫 When you feel what it’s like to be calm in a moment that would usually overwhelm you… something shifts.

💫 When you feel what it’s like to speak honestly instead of pleasing… something shifts.

💫 When you feel what it’s like to stay connected to yourself when your old patterns want to take over… something shifts.

These experiences become new internal references.

💬 Not loud ones.

💬 Not heroic ones.

💬 Just small, steady memories of “this is what it feels like when I’m more myself.”

And the more you touch that place — even for a moment — the easier it becomes to return to it.

Slowly, your identity reshapes itself from the inside out, without effort or performance.

💫 This is a lot of the work I do with clients:

💬 Helping them find those new experiences of being, grounded, centred, clear, so they can remember a different version of themselves.

💬 Not a better version.

💬 One that is true to a deeper, more meaningful part of them.

If you’re exploring this in your own life, my free mini course Balance and Optimise Your Life offers a gentle place to begin:

https://authenticnature.group.app/pages/balance-optimise-life

It’s an invitation to notice where you’ve been living from old memories, and to create new ones that support who you’re becoming.

A free mini course to help you reconnect with your natural balance, clarity, and confidence At different moments in life, we reach a point where the old ways of living, working, or relating no longer feel quite right. We sense that something deeper is calling us — to show up differently, to grow b...

28/05/2025

👀 What you need to know about living in alignment...

It’s not always easy to spot misalignment.

But here are a few clues that something might need adjusting:

- You feel drained after work, even when the day wasn’t "that bad"
- You second-guess yourself constantly
- You’re productive, but not fulfilled
- You keep doing what’s expected, but it doesn’t feel like you
- You say yes when you mean no, and then feel resentful
- You’ve lost touch with what actually brings you joy

🙌 These don’t mean you’re doing life wrong.

🚦 They’re just signals.

🫸 Gentle nudges from within.

If you want to read more about alignment, check out my latest blog article: https://www.coachingwithtom.com/post/what-if-alignment-is-what-you-ve-been-missing

There was a time in my life when everything looked right on the outside.I had a solid job. A steady income. Recognition. A clear path.But something inside me was restless.It wasn’t dramatic, it was more like a quiet hum of discomfort. A subtle sense that I was slightly off course. Not wrong, just....

30/04/2025

Have you ever felt like you were in a room full of people, but still not quite in the room?

Like you were doing all the right things - contributing, being friendly, showing up - yet still carrying that quiet feeling of not really belonging?

It’s something I hear often in coaching. People who are thoughtful, capable, and sensitive… but who feel like they have to perform to be accepted. Who’ve learned, often early on, that fitting in sometimes means leaving parts of themselves at the door.

It's also something I've experienced at various points in my life, in the form of questions life:

👣 "Where is home?"
👣 "Who do I consider as close friends?"
👣 "Where am I supposed to be in this life?"

This month, I’ve written about belonging - what it is, what it isn’t, and how we start to come home to ourselves in the process.

In the blog, I explore:

🔹 The difference between fitting in and true belonging
🔹 The layers of belonging (family, friends, work, place, nature, and more)
🔹 Why it’s so common to feel like an outsider, even when things “look fine”
🔹 Gentle ways to reconnect with your own sense of home

If you’re in a season where you’re craving more real connection - with yourself or others - this might be a good place to begin.

📝 Read the blog: https://www.coachingwithtom.com/post/finding-belonging-coming-home-to-yourself