11/12/2021
Saturday Stories - The 'Peckening'
Some rare movies can have a plot line that has a bit of everything - action, drama, comedy, si-fi & even horror.
I had front row seats to such a movie the other day except it wasn't a movie - it was real life.
Buying my usual weekly groceries in Woolies & as per usual, picked the slowest moving checkout line. However this time it wasn't due to the L plate checkout operator, but rather a boomer couple that were putting on quite a show. Doreen & Bob looked like they were shopping for a Christmas feast and Bob was delegated the job of unloading the trolley on the conveyor belt. Doreen, reading a magazine in a majestic looking moo moo, was also multitasking managing Bobs duties when he made a huge error of placing a previously bought Aldi item on the conveyor. Doreen seized the opportunity to raise her voice and chastise Bob so everyone could hear. Bob now red faced quickly fumbled at the offending item and knocked over the bbq sauce in the scuffle. Doreen then kicked it up a notch and proceeded to tell Bob how utterly useless he was until he corrected his hainess error.
The tut tutting & henpecking continued until Doreen zeroed in on her next victim - the checkout lady who couldn't activate Doreens Woolies Christmas discount voucher. Well, all hell broke loose & Doreen wasn't budging until every manager had been summoned to fix the issue. Bob now looked relieved the pressure was finally off him and quickly turned into his wives ally hoping to score points for berating staff for their lack of customer service. Turns out Doreen hadn't actually activated the online voucher & and had to shuffle off in a huff with her tail between her moo moo. I can only imagine the rest of Bobs day trip loading & unloading in the giant 4WD and back to the floral decorated 1/4 acre manicured block in the Hills.
Ive seen this scenario play out before many many times in many different ways but the antagonist is almost exclusively "Doreen" in the relationship.
But then it occurred to me that the real villian in the movie is not "Doreen". It's Bob.
Note: Of course a role reversal would have security, police and swat team deployed to arrest Bob for domestic violence and assault.
Shaming your partner in front of others is a power play, pure and simple & on no occasion is it part of a healthy relationship. You are a united front.
However the Bobs of the male species have only themselves to blame. At some point "Bobs" relinquish the dominant role and fall into the submissive role - whether thats to keep the peace, or just death by a thousand cuts, this forces Doreen to take the leadership role - something she didn't want whether she understands it or not.
Any Bobs out there please note. Doreen will destroy you. Not because she wants to, but because you gave her the power to do so. A power she never wanted, but must enact and see it through, to remove you for being weak. This evolutionary trait is hardwired in the female firmware for the survival of the species. I didn't make the rules, nature did.
So, how to not be like Bob?
1- Get & stay fit (this should be obvious but if you lift and are strong, chances are your strength manifests itself across the spectrum of the relationship).
2. Maintain Frame - Frame is everything. Always be aware of the subconscious balance of whose frame in which you are operating. Always control the Frame, but resist giving the impression that you are.
3. See point 1 & 2.
A good starting point for any Bob reading this is to draw a line in the sand and get your ass to Crash Camp before it's too late and you also end up forever picking up the sauce bottle.
