Back to me healing

Back to me healing Jolandi Jordaan Kuhn founder of Back to Me Healing. Helping women reclaim themselves after motherhood, betrayal, and survival mode.

Mom of 4 boys passionate about raising wise men, nervous system healing, and breaking generational cycles.

25/06/2026

For years, I made myself smaller.

I kept the peace.
I stayed quiet.
I questioned myself.
I worried about what everyone else would think.

And slowly, without even realizing it, I stopped trusting my own voice.

One of the biggest things I've had to heal from wasn't finding my voice.

It was believing I didn't deserve to use it.

Healing has taught me that my story matters.

My experiences matter.

My feelings matter.

And speaking my truth doesn't make me difficult, dramatic, or selfish.

It makes me honest.

Finding my voice hasn't been about being louder.

It's been about no longer abandoning myself to make other people comfortable.

And that has been one of the most powerful parts of my healing journey.

❤️ What's one thing you've become braver about saying as you've healed?

One of the biggest misconceptions about nervous system healing is that regulation should feel relaxing immediately.For m...
25/06/2026

One of the biggest misconceptions about nervous system healing is that regulation should feel relaxing immediately.

For many people, it doesn't.

Especially if you've spent years living in stress, chaos, hypervigilance, people pleasing, or survival mode.

Sometimes the moment you finally sit still...

The feelings you've been avoiding start showing up.

The grief.
The fear.
The loneliness.
The exhaustion.

That's why healing isn't just about learning regulation tools.

It's about teaching your body that it is safe enough to slow down.

When you finally stop and rest, what shows up first?

🟢 Anxiety

🟢 Exhaustion

24/06/2026

Ever notice how your body feels like it's carrying the weight of the world?
One of my favourite nervous system regulation tools is simply lying on my back with my feet elevated at 90 degrees.
This position helps take pressure off the lower back, encourages deeper breathing, and gives your body a chance to shift out of "go, go, go" mode.
Will it solve everything?
No.
But healing is often found in the small things we do consistently.
Today, give yourself 5–10 minutes.
No fixing. No performing. No achieving.
Just breathing.
🤍

One of the biggest lies social media tells us is that healing always looks peaceful.That once you start healing you'll f...
24/06/2026

One of the biggest lies social media tells us is that healing always looks peaceful.

That once you start healing you'll feel calm, grounded, and grateful all the time.

The truth?

Healing can be messy.

Sometimes healing looks like crying in the shower.

Sometimes it looks like setting a boundary and feeling guilty afterwards.

Sometimes it looks like grieving a version of your life you thought you would have.

Sometimes it looks like being the only person who understands why you made the decision you did.

Healing isn't always beautiful while you're living it.

But one day you'll look back and realise those difficult moments were the moments you started coming back to yourself.

What has been the hardest part of healing for you?

A. Letting go

B. Setting boundaries

C. Trusting myself again

D. Feeling lonely

👇 Tell me in the comments.

23/06/2026

The biggest lie I believed was that healing meant I would eventually stop feeling sad, angry, triggered, scared, or overwhelmed.
The truth?
Healing didn't remove my emotions.
It gave me the capacity to feel them without losing myself in them.
I still have hard days.
I still cry.
I still get triggered sometimes.
But I trust myself now.
I know how to come back to myself.
And maybe that's what healing was always meant to be.

For a long time, I confused control with safety.I thought if I could manage everything, predict everything, fix everythi...
23/06/2026

For a long time, I confused control with safety.

I thought if I could manage everything, predict everything, fix everything, and keep everyone happy, I would finally feel at peace.

What I've learned through healing is that control and boundaries are not the same thing.

Control tries to change other people.

Boundaries change what I am willing to accept.

Control says:
"You need to behave differently."

Boundaries say:
"I respect your choices, and I will choose what is right for me."

Control is rooted in fear.

Boundaries are rooted in self-respect.

One of the biggest shifts in my healing journey was realizing that I don't need to control people to feel safe.

I need to trust myself enough to set healthy boundaries.

❤️ Which one do you find harder:
Letting go of control or holding a boundary?

22/06/2026

For a long time, I thought my need for control was just part of who I was.

What I've come to realise is that it wasn't control.

It was fear.

When you've lived through chaos, unpredictability, disappointment, or betrayal, control can feel like safety.

Motherhood revealed that wound in me.

I wanted everything organised.
Everything planned.
Everything handled.

Not because I wanted to control my children.

Because I was trying to protect them.

And if I'm honest, I was also trying to protect myself.

One of the biggest lessons motherhood has taught me is this:

I cannot control other people.

I cannot control outcomes.

I cannot control every challenge my children will face.

What I can do is teach them respect.

Teach them kindness.

Teach them accountability.

Teach them that love does not control.

Love listens.
Love respects.
Love allows people to have their own thoughts, feelings, and opinions.

Today, I don't try to control.

I lead.

I set boundaries.

I model the behaviour I hope to see.

And I trust that the lessons I teach my boys will matter more than the control I once thought I needed.

❤️ What has motherhood revealed about you?

When I became a mother, I thought I would be teaching my children.What I didn't expect was how much they would teach me ...
21/06/2026

When I became a mother, I thought I would be teaching my children.

What I didn't expect was how much they would teach me about myself.

Motherhood has a way of exposing the parts of us that still need healing.

The fears.
The triggers.
The wounds.
The patterns we promised ourselves we would never repeat.

Not because we're failing.

Because we're human.

Some of the biggest healing I've done hasn't happened despite motherhood.

It's happened because of it.

So today, I want to start an honest conversation.

What has motherhood triggered in you that you didn't realise still needed healing?

❤️ Fear of failure?
❤️ People pleasing?
❤️ Perfectionism?
❤️ Anger?
❤️ Abandonment?

Tell me below.

You never know who might read your comment and realise they're not alone.

20/06/2026

Motherhood has a way of bringing every unhealed part of you to the surface.

Not because you're failing.

Because you're human.

There have been moments when I've felt patient, present, and completely in control.

And there have been moments when I've sat on the bathroom floor in tears wondering why something so small triggered such a big reaction in me.

The truth is, our children don't just need us to raise them.

Sometimes they invite us to raise ourselves too.

They expose old wounds. Old beliefs. Old fears. The parts of us that still need compassion and healing.

No mother gets it right all the time.

Not the moms on social media. Not the moms who seem to have it all together. Not me.

We're all learning as we go.

The goal isn't perfection.

The goal is becoming aware enough to pause, repair, apologise when needed, and keep growing alongside our children.

Motherhood isn't just about raising kids.

Sometimes it's about reparenting yourself too. ❤️

MotherhoodUnfiltered NervousSystemHealing MomsWhoHeal

One of the biggest myths we tell women is:"If it was that bad, she would have left."Healing has taught me that life is r...
19/06/2026

One of the biggest myths we tell women is:

"If it was that bad, she would have left."

Healing has taught me that life is rarely that simple.

People stay because they love.

People stay because they hope.

People stay because they have children.

People stay because they are scared.

People stay because they don't yet see another way.

Looking back, I spent a lot of time judging myself for staying longer than I wanted to.

Now I have compassion for that version of me.

She wasn't weak.

She was surviving.

And when she was finally ready, she chose something different.

💚 Which slide resonated with you most?

Next episode:
What I Had To Heal From: Being Afraid To Use My Voice.

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