18/11/2022
Do you want to lose weight really fast?
Like... super mega ultra lightning fast?!?
As in, maybe... 5kg lost in a week?
If so, THAT'S TOTALLY DOABLE and COMPLETELY REALISTIC!!!
Unless, of course, you want that weight to be body fat.
Because that s**t ain't happening.
To be concise and appease your shortened attention span, i'll write this in point form.
_______________________________________________________________
No - There is no magic trick to losing fat faster.
No - I can't turn you into _______ (insert idols name)
Yes - You and your lack of discipline is the problem.
Yes - We are all genetically different.
No - Your body isn't "pear,apple,or whatever fu***ng fruit shape" you keep labeling it as .
Yes - Stop comparing yourself to fu***ng fruits.
No - That Verimark advert on tv called 6 Minute Abs, will not work.
No - Using FatZapper & 6 Minute Abs in conjunction, will not work.
No - Creatine & Whey will not make you ripped and massive.
No - Creatine, Whey, Fat Zapper & 6 Minute Abs in conjunction, will not work
No - Detox/Juice cleanses are bulls**t & is an insult to kidneys.
No - You cannot do spot reduction on your bum or tum, arms or chin. This means all those sit ups were fu***ng useless.
No - Fat burners do not make you ripped. Fat burners do not actually work. You have been fooled by advertising and laziness.
No - Supplements with the fanciest holographic labels will never beat real food. They are selling you bulls**t and your brain is being a dick believing it.
No - Carbs are not the enemy.
No - Fat is not the enemy.
No - Lifting heavy weights will not make woman manly, massive or any other bulls**t fallacy.
Yes - Woman need to lift heavy weights to get “toned”
Yes - Toned is actually a sugar coated way of saying not fat.
Yes - How muscular you look depends how muscular you WANT to look.
Yes - Underneath that fat pack lies a 6 pack. We all genetically have one except yours is covered in fat.
Yes - A Nutrition proffessor lost 27 pounds in 10 weeks on a diet of Twinkies.
Yes - It is proven that calorie restriction counts more than nutritional value.
Yes - You should work out & understand your macros.
No - Excessive cardio will not turn you into _____(insert idols name)
Yes - There are *some* shortcuts, like anabolic steriods but its temporary and has side effects.
No - I,m not being mean by not telling you about the magic pill.
No - Personal trainers are indeed human and are not blessed with good bodies delivered from a Stork.
No - I won't plan you a free 3 month day to day routine over Facebook.
No - I didn't pay & study my ass off to be a free personal trainer on Facebook.
No - i don't need you offering yourself as a free project to me, i'm qualified and "projected" on myself several times.
Yes - i have better things to do with my time than free diet plans & workouts.
No - I won’t give discounts,but i will try acommodate you if i feel the need.
No - Alcohol while trying to lose fat is redundant but can be moderated into your macros.
No - Starving yourself is not the way to lose BF%. Do kwashiorkor victims look like ____(insert idols name)
No - I really don't have a magic pill yet.
Yes - Every diet works. its sustainability might not.
Yes - You can eat fast food still on certain days/meals. It is used as a mental reward & to spike your leptin levels.
No - Over training will not make you lose BF% faster.
Yes - There is a huge difference between fat loss and weight loss.
No - More sweat doesn’t equal more fat loss.
No - Sweat isn’t your fat crying, or any other banal A- grade motivational quote bulls**t.
Yes - Action begets motivation. Just start fu***ng training & motivation shall follow.
Yes - It is ok to be lazy once in a while & miss a session.
Yes - It is a problem when you make laziness a habit.
No - All the money in the world cannot buy you health, trust that Steve Jobs tried.
No - You cannot avoid catabolic state due to over training with poor nutrition.
No - You cannot out train poor nutrition even though its nearly 2023.
No - There are still no magic pills even in 2022.
Yes - There are scientifically proven methods to losing BF correctly.
No - I still really don't want to, and never will, spend my day off typing out your free routine.
No - I still haven't found, the magic pill you're looking for....
This industry is so bad with "fake guru's and fitness influenzers" it's time i try save it...