Donnybrook Stables and Riding school

02/08/2026

One of the most common pressure points in any lesson program is the gap between where a student is and where they want to be. The beginner who wants to canter before the trot is balanced. The intermediate rider who wants to jump before the flatwork can support it. The adult who has been riding for just a few months and cannot understand why they are not doing what the rider in the next lesson is doing. The parent who sees progress every week and interprets that progress as readiness for the next thing.

Every instructor has fielded the version of this conversation where a student or a parent is convinced the next milestone is right around the corner when the foundational work to support it is nowhere near solid enough. How you handle that conversation matters for the student's safety, for their long term confidence, and for the professional authority you need to maintain in your program. Here is what actually works:

1. Be specific about why and not just when.
"Not yet" is not enough information for a motivated student or an invested parent. They need to understand what "not yet" actually means in concrete terms and what specific skills need to be in place before the next step is safe and appropriate. They need to know what the next milestone actually demands from a rider that the current work has not yet developed and why skipping the development in between can do more harm than good. Be direct and be specific. Give them a roadmap, not a wall. A student who understands exactly what they are working toward and why is significantly easier to keep motivated than one who hears not yet and walks away feeling like the goal is being withheld without explanation.

2. Make the path forward visible and concrete.
Students and parents push hardest for the next milestone when they cannot see how to get there from where they are. Give them something concrete to work toward such as specific skills, specific markers, specific things that need to be consistent before the conversation about the next step opens. Now they have a checklist instead of a wall and the energy that was going into pushing for the milestone goes into working toward the things that make it possible. That is a significantly more productive use of everyone's time and it keeps the student motivated in the right direction.

3. Address the parent and the student separately if needed.
A parent who is pushing for more is almost always a parent who does not fully understand what the next step actually requires either physically and in terms of what happens when a rider who is not ready gets there too soon. Parents like this are not being unreasonable but they are advocating for their child without the information they need to do it well. Give them that information privately and without making them feel judged for not already having it. Most parents respond very differently once they understand that your caution is not about holding their child back, that it is actually about setting them up to succeed when they get there.

4. Hold the standard even when the pressure is significant.
This is where many instructors lose ground. The student is keen and the parent may be persistent. The path of least resistance is to introduce the next milestone before the foundation is ready and hope it goes well. Sometimes it does but often it does not and you spend the next several lessons rebuilding what one premature step cost. Hold the standard because you have seen enough situations go wrong to understand exactly what it costs a student when they get there before they were ready.

5. Redirect the enthusiasm into the work that makes the next step possible.
A student who is pushing hard for the next milestone is a genuinely motivated student and that motivation is one of the most valuable things in any lesson program. Do not let it become a source of friction, instead channel it. Every time the conversation comes up remind them what they are working toward and acknowledge the progress they are making toward it. Keep the goal visible and keep connecting the current work to it. A student who understands why each exercise matters rides it with completely different intention than one who is simply waiting for something more interesting to arrive.

6. Confidence and readiness are not the same thing.
This is one of the most important distinctions in this conversation and one worth saying clearly to both the student and the parent. A student can feel completely confident and ready for the next step and still not have the technical foundation to manage it safely when the situation gets unpredictable. Confidence is a feeling but readiness is a demonstrated skill set. A student who arrives at the next milestone with genuine readiness has a completely different experience than one who was moved forward on confidence alone.

The next milestone will still be there when the student is ready for it. A student who arrives at it with a genuinely solid foundation has an experience that builds their confidence and their love of riding rather than one that shakes both. Remember to hold the standard, explain the why, and keep the goal visible.

How do you handle the student or parent who is pushing for more than the foundation currently supports?

15/07/2026

It takes a village and I am very grateful for mine💝

I got into this industry because of horses which is probably why you also got into this industry as well. What I did not expect was everything else that came with it - the life lessons that had nothing to do with riding and everything to do with becoming a better version of myself. Here is what this industry actually taught me:

1. How to read people faster than almost anything else could.
When you spend your career watching the relationship between horse and rider you develop an ability to read body language, emotional state, and interpersonal dynamics that is genuinely difficult to develop any other way. Horses respond to the truth of what a person is carrying, not the version they are presenting. Watching that dynamic play out lesson after lesson sharpens your ability to see people clearly in a way that transfers into every relationship and every professional interaction you will ever have.

2. That boundaries are not unkind, they are necessary.
At first, the horse world tried hard to teach me that saying yes to everything was the mark of a dedicated professional. Teaching the extra lesson on my only day off. Answering the text at nine at night. Taking on the client who was clearly wrong for the program because the income felt necessary. Every time I said yes when I should have said no something suffered for it - my horses, my other students, my own health, or the quality of my teaching. Boundaries are not a luxury, they are the infrastructure that makes everything else sustainable. The horse industry taught me that through experience rather than instruction and the lessons were expensive.

3. That the business side matters just as much as the horsemanship side.
Nobody told me when I started teaching that I would need to understand cash flow, pricing strategy, client communication, marketing, and basic employment law. I just thought I needed to know horses and riding! I also needed to know how to run a business and learning that after the fact rather than before cost me more time money and stress than I care to calculate. The horse industry is full of exceptional horsemen and horsewomen who run financially struggling programs because nobody taught them the business side and they never sought it out. Luckily for me, I figured it out through trial and error but I still see many instructors who lack any sense of a business side.

4. That reputation takes years to build.
The horse world is small in a way that people outside it genuinely cannot comprehend. Everyone knows everyone. What you say about a horse, a client, a fellow instructor, or a situation travels faster than you would believe and arrives distorted in ways you cannot control. The only sustainable approach is to conduct yourself at all times as though everything you say and do is being observed because in this industry it often is. No matter what you do though, someone will do some sh*t talking about you at some point in your career so you also need to learn to build a hard shell.

5. That horses are the most honest mirror you will ever stand in front of.
Not the arena mirror but the horse itself. Every tension pattern you carry, every inconsistency in your communication, every moment where what you are presenting on the outside does not match what is happening on the inside - the horse reads all of it and reflects it back to you without filter or diplomacy. I have learned more about myself from difficult horses than from any amount of therapy, self help, or personal development work. The horse shows you exactly who you are in the present moment and gives you an immediate opportunity to choose differently. That is a gift even when it does not feel like one.

6. That community is not optional, it is survival.
I thought I could do this alone and most of us start out thinking that. The horse industry has a culture of toughness and self reliance that makes asking for help feel like weakness but it is not. The instructors who last in this industry are almost universally the ones who found other professionals who understand the specific weight of this work without needing it explained and who leaned on that community when the weight got too heavy to carry alone. I found mine later than I should have and I am grateful every day that I found them at all. That is why I created this page, to build a sense of community among all instructors in this industry.

7. That the horses always knew before I did.
Before I knew a client was wrong for the program, before I knew a situation was about to go sideways, before I knew I was running on empty and needed to stop. The horses knew and they showed me in the only language available to them and I learned slowly, imperfectly, but eventually to pay attention when they did.

This industry is hard in ways that are difficult to explain to people who have not lived it. It is also one of the most formative things I have ever been part of. Everything it taught me that I did not expect to learn has made me better - as an instructor, as a professional, and as a person.

What did the horse industry teach you that you never expected to learn?

24/06/2026

Common boundaries….

Most riding instructors did not start this career because they wanted to manage difficult conversations about boundaries. They started it because they love horses and wanted to teach. The instructors who last in this industry are the ones who learned (often the hard way) that boundaries are not optional extras you add once you are established enough to "afford" them. They are part of running a professional program from day one. Here is where boundaries matter most and how to hold them without apology...

1. Your time outside of lessons is yours.
Texts at nine at night about tomorrow's lesson. Calls during dinner about a schedule change. Messages on your day off asking for advice about a horse buying decision. None of this is malicious but most clients genuinely do not think about the fact that you have a life outside of teaching their child to ride. If you respond immediately every time, you train them to expect immediate responses always. Set communication hours and state them clearly in your new client materials. Then actually hold them, even when it feels easier to just answer the message.

2. Your schedule is not infinitely flexible.
The family that needs to move their lesson time again. The parent who wants to add an extra session this week because of an upcoming show. The student who is consistently five minutes late and expects the lesson to run the full length anyway. Every accommodation you make sets an expectation for the next one. A clear scheduling policy communicated at enrollment and held consistently protects your time and your sanity far more effectively than saying yes every time and quietly resenting it later.

3. Rail commentary is not welcome during lessons.
This is one of the hardest boundaries to set because it usually involves a parent who genuinely believes they are helping. A parent calling out instructions from the rail undermines your authority, confuses the student, and turns a structured lesson into a tug of war between two voices. Set this expectation clearly before the first lesson that questions and feedback happen before or after the lesson, not during it. If it happens anyway address it directly and privately. This is not about ego, it is about your student getting one clear consistent voice to learn from.

4. Payment terms are not negotiable on a case by case basis.
The family that is reliably a few days late every month. The client who wants to pay per lesson when your program runs on monthly tuition. The parent who asks for a discount because their child missed two lessons this month. Every exception you make becomes the new expectation for that family and often for others who hear about it. A clear payment policy applied consistently to everyone is not harsh. It is the foundation that makes your program financially sustainable for everyone in it including the horses.

5. "No" is a complete sentence.
You do not owe a lengthy explanation every time you decline a request. No I cannot fit in an extra lesson this week. No I am not available on my day off. No we cannot extend the lesson because you were late. A short, professional, non-apologetic no protects your time and your energy far more effectively than a long justification that invites negotiation. The families who respect your "no" are the ones worth keeping. The ones who push back against it are showing you something important about the relationship.

6. Hold the same standard for everyone.
The boundary that gets broken for your longest standing client or your highest paying family becomes the boundary that does not really exist. Consistency is what makes a boundary a boundary rather than a suggestion. It will occasionally cost you a client who feels entitled to an exception. It will also build you a program full of families who respect your professionalism which is worth significantly more in the long run.

Boundaries are not about being difficult. They are about running a program that is sustainable for you, fair to your students, and respectful of the horses who depend on a schedule and a routine that boundaries help protect.

You are allowed to have them and you do not need to apologize for them. The families and clients worth keeping will respect them without you having to explain why.

What boundary took you the longest to actually hold?

10/06/2026

Upcoming SASJ National Shows.

10/06/2026

Super proud of all you girls! What an incredible achievement.

The girls receiving their awards with our Equitation coach Lucy de Jong last night. and in Open and .d.equestrian and in Intermediate

Well done girls! We are so proud 🏆👏🏻🍾

03/06/2026

A lost stirrup is rarely just about the stirrup. It is almost always a symptom of something happening further up the leg such as a gripping knee, an unstable lower leg, a foot that has crept too far into the iron, or an ankle that is bracing rather than absorbing. Losing a stirrup is a symptom. The position fault that causes it is what needs to be addressed and it is almost never just about the heel. Here is what is actually going on and how to fix it...

1. The gripping knee pushes the lower leg back and up.
This is the most common cause of a lost stirrup and the most consistently misidentified one. When a rider pinches with the knee, the knee essentially acts as a fulcrum and thus the lower leg (the calf) tends to fly backward away from the horse's side. This is the mistake that some instructions make by telling the rider "heels down" when the real instruction should be release the knee. A gripping knee cannot produce a stable lower leg regardless of how much the rider tries to push their heel down. Fix the grip and the heel position almost always improves without another word about it.

2. The lower leg has no independent stability.
A lower leg that swings with every stride has not yet developed the muscle memory and strength to stay in one place independently. The leg likely moves because the rider does not yet have the neuromuscular control to hold it still while the rest of the body moves with the horse. This takes time and specific exercises to develop and heels down as a correction does not build it. You have to train the stability directly.

3. The stirrup is on the wrong part of the foot.
Stirrups belong on the ball of the foot which is the widest part just behind the toes. A rider who has pushed the foot too far into the stirrup is a position where the foot cannot maintain a correct heel down position because the ankle joint is blocked. Check foot position before you correct anything else. Sometimes the fix is that simple.

4. The tread angle does not match the rider's natural foot position.
Some riders naturally turn their toes out slightly. Some turn them in. A stirrup iron that forces the foot into an unnatural rotation creates tension in the ankle and lower leg that contributes directly to stirrup loss. Adjusting the expected foot angle slightly can make a significant difference for riders who consistently lose stirrups despite correct lower leg work. For western, I love using stirrup turners because they keep the stirrups in the correct riding position as opposed to you fighting the fenders. I am not sure of the name for the english stirrup ones, but MDC makes them where the stirrups are on a swivel and can be changed to three different positions. I personally love to use these for myself and my students because it beats "fighting" your tack.

Here are some exercises that actually build the stability to keep the stirrups...

- No stirrup work at the walk:
Start with regular walk work without stirrups and doing exercises such as transitions, direction changes, halt to walk, all help to develop the independent leg position. A rider who can walk without stirrups in a correct stable position is developing the muscle memory that transfers directly into stirrup work at faster gaits.

- Single stirrup work:
Drop just one stirrup. This isolates each side independently and reveals asymmetries in lower leg stability that riding with both stirrups masks. The side that loses the stirrup most often is almost always the weaker or tighter side. Work it specifically rather than drilling both sides equally and hoping the weaker one catches up.

- Two point at the walk and trot:
Two point position requires the rider to balance entirely through the lower leg with weight sinking into the heel and the stirrup bearing the rider's weight directly. A rider who cannot hold two point has not yet developed the lower leg stability to keep a stirrup reliably at any faster gait. Build two point progressively through halt, walk, trot, until it is solid before expecting stirrup security at the canter.

- Transitions without stirrups:
Walk to halt, halt to walk, walk to trot and back, all done without stirrups. Every transition tests the lower leg's ability to stay in place while the body manages a change in energy. A leg that stays stable through a transition without stirrups will stay stable through the same transition with them. Use transitions specifically to develop the stability rather than just drilling gaits in straight lines.

Losing a stirrup consistently is a position problem that no amount of heels down correction will permanently solve. Find the root cause such as a gripping knee, unstable lower leg, incorrect foot position and address it directly with exercises that build the stability rather than just reminding the rider it is missing. If you fix the leg, the stirrup takes care of itself.

What is your go to exercise for building lower leg stability in your students?