03/05/2026
Someone could have warned me earlier that I needed to learn to close my eyes even when I wasn’t sleepy or when the sun was out. That I had to get used to being alone with my thoughts, but without the usual phrases like “a little boredom never hurt anyone.”
Bu****it.
When you start exploring inside yourself, you don’t get bored. There’s a whole world to discover that you have no idea about. Actually, I don’t even fully know it yet either, since I’ve only just started taking my first steps inside myself.
The real problem is that when you start meditating, you feel a bit like an idiot sitting there. You wonder who made you do this, sitting cross-legged on a mat while your legs go numb and your thoughts spin like crazy. You end up thinking about your own stuff, everything you could be doing, all the tasks you could be ticking off instead of sitting there doing nothing.
And yet, that’s exactly the point. Getting used to doing nothing. Watching your thoughts move back and forth, up and down, left and right… and slowly trying to detach. Watching them from a distance as they get smaller and smaller. The oscillations decrease, the breath slows down, and at a certain point there’s only the air moving in and out of your nose and the darkness in front of your eyes.
You focus on the empty mind, on the sensations in your body, on the warmth you feel, on the energy you give off. That black space in front of you expands along with time, into a potentially infinite dimension where you can choose whether to stay or come back, whenever and however you want.
And it’s there that you can inhabit the void, the darkness, and slowly discover that there’s nothing to fear… if anything, there’s everything to explore. It’s a space inside you that you don’t know, yet it offers enormous room for growth and understanding. It’s not easy to put into words, because you only really understand it when you’re in it. And staying there comes down to one thing: keeping your attention on the here and now, even while thoughts, itches, sounds, and emotions keep trying to pull you away.
And believe me, it is worth exploring.
What comes up when there's nothing left to distract you from yourself?