Stana Ferrari Rebel Mindset Coach

Stana Ferrari Rebel Mindset Coach Life & Identity Coach. solution-focused & transformational coach

I help mission-driven people successfully find, unleash & express their inner self, and align their purpose and actions.

® Stana Ferrari, cert.

Someone could have warned me earlier that I needed to learn to close my eyes even when I wasn’t sleepy or when the sun w...
03/05/2026

Someone could have warned me earlier that I needed to learn to close my eyes even when I wasn’t sleepy or when the sun was out. That I had to get used to being alone with my thoughts, but without the usual phrases like “a little boredom never hurt anyone.”

Bu****it.

When you start exploring inside yourself, you don’t get bored. There’s a whole world to discover that you have no idea about. Actually, I don’t even fully know it yet either, since I’ve only just started taking my first steps inside myself.

The real problem is that when you start meditating, you feel a bit like an idiot sitting there. You wonder who made you do this, sitting cross-legged on a mat while your legs go numb and your thoughts spin like crazy. You end up thinking about your own stuff, everything you could be doing, all the tasks you could be ticking off instead of sitting there doing nothing.

And yet, that’s exactly the point. Getting used to doing nothing. Watching your thoughts move back and forth, up and down, left and right… and slowly trying to detach. Watching them from a distance as they get smaller and smaller. The oscillations decrease, the breath slows down, and at a certain point there’s only the air moving in and out of your nose and the darkness in front of your eyes.

You focus on the empty mind, on the sensations in your body, on the warmth you feel, on the energy you give off. That black space in front of you expands along with time, into a potentially infinite dimension where you can choose whether to stay or come back, whenever and however you want.

And it’s there that you can inhabit the void, the darkness, and slowly discover that there’s nothing to fear… if anything, there’s everything to explore. It’s a space inside you that you don’t know, yet it offers enormous room for growth and understanding. It’s not easy to put into words, because you only really understand it when you’re in it. And staying there comes down to one thing: keeping your attention on the here and now, even while thoughts, itches, sounds, and emotions keep trying to pull you away.

And believe me, it is worth exploring.

What comes up when there's nothing left to distract you from yourself?

Simple solutions are always the most effective ones and we still skip right past them.We look at something basic and our...
21/04/2026

Simple solutions are always the most effective ones and we still skip right past them.

We look at something basic and our brain goes “𝘯𝘢𝘢, 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘯’𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘪𝘵…” It feels too easy, too obvious, almost beneath us. So instead, we go hunting for something more complex to justify why we feel the way we feel.

Meanwhile, the answer is sitting right there, untouched.

Are you feeling anxious?

Stop snobbing simple things like going for a walk. Move your body. Or my latest favourite: sit still for a bit without reaching for your phone and do absolutely nothing.

Stop overthinking for once and get your ass outside. Make something. Use your voice.

It bruises your ego to admit the fix is this simple.

So you sit there, overcomplicate thing while the obvious thing right in front of you.

Get over yourself and do it.
Or stay exactly where you are.

I love writing. I love creating. I love showing you the way.This year I'm paying closer attention to what actually thril...
22/03/2026

I love writing. I love creating. I love showing you the way.

This year I'm paying closer attention to what actually thrills me. The parts that feel like sunshine. Natural. Fun. Effortless.

My mantra for 2026? 𝗡𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁. 𝗠𝘆 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲, 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗳𝘀, 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝘃𝗮𝗹𝘂𝗲𝘀, 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀.

When I remember that, everything flows. Because I stop treating 𝗺𝘆 𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘆 like something fragile and start handling it for what it is: 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗿𝗲𝘄𝗶𝗿𝗲, 𝗿𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗰𝘁, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗱.

That's the work. And it's a gift to share it with you.
If this resonates, 𝗺𝘆 𝗦𝘂𝗯𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗜 𝗴𝗼 𝗱𝗲𝗲𝗽𝗲𝗿. Link in bio.

19/03/2026

I used to have 𝘇𝗲𝗿𝗼 𝗰𝗹𝘂𝗲 on how free I actually was to manage my own life. I wasn’t being forced; I had just locked myself in a "𝘀𝗮𝗳𝗲" 𝗿𝗼𝗹𝗲 until the key rusted over.

I was so deep in the "wife role" that I felt a spike of panic when someone asked what I liked. There was nothing there but a void. 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝟯𝟬-𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 "𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲," 𝘄𝗮𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘀𝗹𝗶𝗽 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗮 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝗲𝘅𝗶𝘀𝘁.

Most of you are doing exactly the same thing. You have the labels and the "𝘢𝘩𝘢" 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴, but your life hasn't changed an inch. You don't even know what your "rights" as an adult are because you've spent years 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝗲𝗱𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝘂𝗿𝘃𝗶𝘃𝗲. You're just a "Guilt Ju**ie" buying ten minutes of relief by saying "yes" to everyone but yourself.

𝗙𝘂𝗰𝗸 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗜𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗖𝗼𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗵𝗶𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴. It’s how you stop asking for permission and start using your actual range of action. No more "proposals." No more "void."

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝘅𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲. 𝗟𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝗯𝗶𝗼.

15/03/2026

Stop for a second and look at how you are moving through your own life. If you constantly explain your decisions, apologise when nothing happened, soften what you really think so nobody gets uncomfortable, swallow words that are already in your throat, and look around the room before trusting your own judgement, you are slowly handing your authority to everyone else.

The moment you feel relief when someone else decides is the moment you should really pay attention. That is not peace. That is you stepping out of your own life. If you recognise yourself in these patterns, do not brush them off. That is exactly where you are abandoning yourself.

Two weeks ago, I explored external validation as a stabilising mechanism. I looked at where it begins, how it forms, and...
05/03/2026

Two weeks ago, I explored external validation as a stabilising mechanism. I looked at where it begins, how it forms, and how easily it disguises itself as personality.

Last week, I focused on the practical side and shared ways to start loosening that dependence on other people’s approval.

But once you quiet the external noise and begin reacquainting with yourself, 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝗳 𝗶𝘁 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘆? How do you make sure you do not forget your capacities and abilities?

One way, beyond the six steps I shared in my article, is to deliberately 𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂. Those qualities, quirks, abilities, and tendencies that make you smile the moment you recognise them.
In my case, a big part of the process was remembering what I am capable of and the feeling of being “back to who I love being”, and by this I mean 𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲, that puts a smile on my face, that version that feels like home to me and, and consciously connect with it.
🩷 At different moments, I had to remind myself that I am tender, very sweet, creative, cheerful, quite deep and reflective, and also obsessive in the good sense of the word.

Little by little, you start finding your way 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 to yourself, 𝘁𝗼 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗬𝗢𝗨. And there’s no feeling quite like it, reconnecting with those things that make you feel good about yourself, that make you feel pretty, and attractive to yourself. Reconnect back to you.

Also remember:
👾 Play. The tests you face are part of the game of being alive.
⛔️ Stop feeding what has already expired for you.
🎤 Say what needs to be said. Don't squash it.
🔎 We have all lived through painful situations and emotions. Explore what’s actually frightening you.
✅️ Accept the way you are and the other person. Clarity grows where honesty and patience exist.

This layer of identity work is the one that matters most to me, and it is the foundation of Identity Code.
Are you ready for it? Link in my bio.

26/02/2026

This is a validation problem that leads straight into a sovereignty issue.

That lift in your chest when someone says “that makes sense”? That’s reinforcement.

The tightening when there’s silence? That’s your system reading it as threat.

If a delayed reply unsettles you, your identity is still externally referenced.

And that should concern you because high-functioning adults don’t struggle with competence. They struggle with conditional stability. They feel solid when mirrored. Less so when not.

If your certainty depends on agreement, your centre is still negotiable.

Read last week’s deep dive and the action steps on Substack. Link in bio.

I’ve always emphasised identity as the core of everything we do. Not productivity. Not confidence. Identity.But when I l...
19/02/2026

I’ve always emphasised identity as the core of everything we do. Not productivity. Not confidence. Identity.

But when I look back honestly at the last decade of my life, I can see that I was strengthening different aspects of my identity at different times, even when I didn’t consciously frame it that way.

In my twenties, my focus was on 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗳𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘆. I cared deeply about being competent, respected, capable. I built a career across countries and institutions, mastered languages, delivered at a high level. Achievement wasn’t just ambition; it was structure. It gave me a clear sense of who I was and where I stood.

Later, the focus shifted inward. I became much more interested in 𝗽𝘀𝘆𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘆. I started questioning my patterns, my reactions, the decisions I kept repeating. I noticed how often fear disguised itself as responsibility or loyalty. I began asking harder questions about the version of me that was making those choices. That phase was less visible from the outside, but far more disruptive internally.

Now, the work is far more integrated. The focus is no longer just on building or questioning, but on alignment. Making decisions that reflect what I already know about myself. Structuring my work, my relationships, and my future in ways that match my values instead of stabilizing old roles. It’s far more precise.

This evolution is exactly why I created the 𝗜𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗖𝗼𝗱𝗲.

Because ⚠️ 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗻 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗶𝘅 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗿 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗲𝘅𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗵 𝗶𝘁. They attempt to become more disciplined, more confident, more consistent, without asking which version of themselves is actually driving their choices.

And that is the real leverage point.

When you understand the identity structure behind your patterns, you stop fighting symptoms and start redesigning the foundation.

So:

Are you still reinforcing an identity you built years ago, or are you ready to examine whether it still fits who you are now?

If you’re ready to look at that seriously, the Identity Code is where we begin.

You didn’t lose yourself overnight.You disappeared slowly.One compromise.One swallowed truth.One “it’s not that bad.”Unt...
10/02/2026

You didn’t lose yourself overnight.

You disappeared slowly.
One compromise.
One swallowed truth.
One “it’s not that bad.”

Until staying felt heavier than leaving
and relief scared you more than pain.
If this hit, you already know... Time to stop pretending that "everything is fine" when it bloody isn't.

I write about fear, identity, and the moment you stop lying to yourself.
Substack link in bio.

There’s a moment when you realise you didn’t choose this life.You simply managed into it.You made choices to avoid disco...
08/02/2026

There’s a moment when you realise you didn’t choose this life.
You simply managed into it.
You made choices to avoid discomfort, disappointment, and disruption.
You kept things calm. Functional. Reasonable.
And you called all that being responsible.
It works.
Until it doesn’t.🪫
That’s the moment I wrote about. Warning! This is personal and irreversible. Link in bio and Stories.

Figuring other people out isn't as hard as it may seem.People are so much more direct and transparent than the stories w...
09/04/2024

Figuring other people out isn't as hard as it may seem.
People are so much more direct and transparent than the stories we wind around them. The way they are behaving is the way they feel—and people contain complexities.

🔎 They're acting hot and cold because they are confused.
🔎 They're making time for what they really value.
🔎 They're showing up for what feels comfortable and aligned.

They may still care, but if they tell you, 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸, they mean it. If they tell you, 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘦, they mean it.
If they tell you, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦, they mean it.

But they also mean it when they say they love you and show you that they do. They mean it when they stay to weather your toughest storms together, and when they show you respect. They mean it when they look at you with love.

➡️ 𝗧𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀 𝗮 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗸𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗯𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗱𝗼. 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗮𝗿𝗲.

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