06/09/2026
Reposting this . I was talking about Frustration on Friday at my lessons....
I have been wanting to write this for a long time. So here goes.
FRUSTRATION IS THE F-WORD OF DRESSAGE/ RIDING
I have taught many many many students over the last 25 years and something that has been a reoccurring thing - Frustration, and the idea of it, blocks all forward momentum. As soon as I hear a rider use the word, I see it appear in their riding.
Sometimes this F-word appears as a beginner struggling to get over a big milestone like cantering confidently. Other times it is an advanced rider coordinating aids for a particular movement ( I , myself, find tempi changes difficult). And yet other times it appears from self applied pressure, lameness, missed opportunities , regret , poor barn community , challenges with aging etc.
So how do we fight off this F Word ? It isnt easy....much like fighting off the four letter F Word, Fear ! One . Day. At. A .Time.
First I ask myself "Why Do I Ride ?" I HOPE it is because you love horses and a partnership with this 1200 lb. Forgiving, interactive, curious animal.
Second- SIMPLIFY. I am a sports fan, especially of hockey. Whenever a team is struggling, you can bet money you'll hear everyone talking about Simplifying Their Game. What does this mean in riding ? Go back to classical things that work - concentrate on the basics - reaction to/ acceptance of the aids, your position and effectiveness, basic exercises appropriate for your level, ask the horse frequent questions. If you just trotted for 10 minutes straight, did you accomplish anything or just pound your horse into the footing ? How is your self coach ? I recently told a few students they needed to FIRE their self coaches ( the coach in your head ) because they were telling them bad things ( such as " you'll fall off for sure, panic, squeeze harder, get tighter, that stupid horse , youll never get this"). Hire yourself a self coach who gives you positive encouragement, believes in you, is on your team for the long haul.
Third- stop and smell the roses/horses. Have you breathed in that barn smell lately ? That delicious perfume we all love ? Have you buried your face in the fur of their neck ? Have you sat in their stall and told them all your problems while they munch on hay ? Taken a moonlit walk or a snow ride ba****ck? Slowed down enough to scratch their itchy spot or stroke their face the way the horse likes ? Embraced what makes your horse unique ? ( my old mare Poppy has been rude and domineering since birth. I worked on it a lot when she was younger- lots of groundwork, In hand work etc. But now at age 22 i see it as Poppy...and it makes me laugh. I still have to tell her " No I am LEADING YOU " frequently, but i also appreciate that Poppy is Poppy).
I hope this helps you stop your "cursing " and find new barn words that keep frustration, even the thought of it, at bay. I will say having an amazing BARN COMMUNITY is my final word of advice. I'm sure you'll find that all the other riders in your community have said the F Word FRUSTRATION, a time or 2 before. Maybe they have said the even worse words to follow - Giving Up. Sitting around and listening to how others have overcome it can help you tighten your community . And if you cant talk to your barn peeps about it, maybe it's time to find some new ones !
Pictured is Stacey on her boy Sam...if anyone has the right to be Frustrated it was Stacey. It took Sam a full year to get his right lead canter. A full year of classical strengthening...never wavering. I kept saying " it WILL WORK ". And it did. Sam is schooling half passes and changes are on the horizon.