06/11/2026
While you're accidentally swallowing reservoir water and trying not to get kicked in the teeth, your body goes into fight-or-flight and your brain starts telling you all the reasons why this is definitely a bad bad BAD IDEA. And when I first started working out, even though I have studied all this stuff, I kinda forgot about this link.
It's the same thing that happens to us onstage.
So the thoughts you have in this heightened state are kind of like an evil little monster, or really, like a scaredy little monster that thinks OH BOY, WE'RE PROBABLY GONNA DIE WE NEVER SHOULD HAVE DONE THIS AND SHOULD ABSOLUTELY NEVER DO IT AGAIN. So for me in this particular scenario, it was telling me that all of my workout goals were stupid, and I would never achieve them, and it was stupid to even think them, and I should probably even just flag down a rescue boat and quit this race.
And I'm sharing this with you because it's not unique to me: it is a brain mechanism that gets activated in fight-or-flight, especially when there is other nervous system stuff onboard. For me, that is a combination of past trauma and my sensory stuff from being autistic. My nervous system is always revving a little high, and so when I add stress, it doesn't take much for that survival stuff to take me way out of my good healthy processing capacity.
But because I have been learning and healing, I can see what's happening, and say, oh: here are my little high adrenaline brain gremlins, and that's not how I really feel, and I'm doing this very intense activity and I'm not dying.
And yes! I can do it in real time, swimming in a reservoir, trying not to get kicked in the mouth. And I can teach you how to do it too. 💗
Learning about your nervous system isn't about turning it off or stopping it from doing stuff. You need it for survival. But you start to learn when it's actually helping you (I don't feel good here and I think I'll go home) and when it is keeping you from life (oh here come those gremlins just because my heart rate is really high).
My summer sale is still on till the end of the month!
Love you!