Podium Chamois Cream

10/12/2024

Obsessive Cycling Disorder is real.
For over two decades we've had symptoms: A healthy, active and fun lifestyle; potential weight loss and muscle gain; increased cardiovascular fitness; daydreaming of N+1; incessant route planning; funny tan lines. There's no cure- and it's highly contagious.
Here's your chance to playfully expose it and spread it around: Our NEW, ready for the holidays OCD jersey. As always on Planet Ultra, it's awesomely high-viz, scientifically proven to make you more visible while riding; available in both men's and women's cuts. Made by Blackbottoms Cyclewear. $89 includes tax and shipping within USA.
We're taking pre-orders NOW through October 18th for delivery in early December.
https://planetultra.com/shop/
If you need help choosing a size, please email us with your bodily dimensions (height, weight, etc) and we'll gladly help you decide. Don't be shy ladies: Only a woman will see and respond to your inquiry.

12/30/2022

The most funny thing we've seen lately:
"Please remember the golden rule when it comes to chamois cream application: don’t lock eyes with anyone while you apply it. It’s highly creepy and somewhat unnerving.
Therefore, you should ideally apply it before you leave your house. But if you absolutely must, do it in a semi-public place, remember to just awkwardly stare at the ground to avoid any uncomfortable exchanges."

12/25/2021

12/16/2021

Obsessive Cycling Disorder is real. We have it. Maybe you have it too. We've seen the symptoms for years. It may go unnoticed at first; but once you're infected, there's no cure- and it's highly contagious. Who else has caught the joy?
Take note of the symptoms: A healthy and fun lifestyle, potential weight loss and muscle gain, funny tan lines. Here's your chance to playfully expose your habit.
Planet Ultra is taking pre-orders NOW in their online store for delivery in March. You may also purchase when you register online for Planet Ultra 2022 events, beginning Christmas Day! https://planetultra.com/shop/
Podium Chamois Cream is a proud sponsor of Planet Ultra events!

12/10/2021

A true gift of love. Show your love for the family jewels... With this great stocking stuffer for the cyclist in your life. https://planetultra.com/product/podium-chamois-cream/

08/19/2021

Fond memories.

07/08/2021

We're excited to sponsor Planet Ultra's HOODOO 500 bicycle race in August. To protect their ASSets during this grueling 500-mile event, all entrants will get a FREE TUBE of Podium Chamois Cream.

Welcome to the Hoodoo 500 ultra-marathon cycling event presented by Planet Ultra! The most epic and challenging event of its kind, the Hoodoo 500 route passes through or around three National Parks, three National Monuments and several Utah State Parks. The scenery varies from majestic cliffs and s...

05/25/2021

We're experience technical difficulties with our website. In the meantime, if you'd like to purchase, you may do so here, or PM us for other options (we DELIVER TO ST. GEORGE AREA locals).

4oz tube of world's best chamois cream, MADE IN THE USA, by Utah local company, Assential Cycling. Safeguard your assets with the finest natural ingredients. Podium Chamois Cream: persistence, protection and reco...

03/29/2021

SPRING HAS SPRUNG! Who's out there taking advantage of the INCREDIBLE Spring weather! Our pasty white legs are finally getting some sunshine! And our butts are getting ROYAL TREATMENT from the best Chamois Cream ever!

03/29/2021

We're no longer selling on Amazon. Please make your purchases here: https://podiumchamoiscream.com/products/
We look forward to serving you!

02/03/2021

Show your Valentine that you value their ASSets.
On sale at Amazon.com through Feb 14th!