08/01/2025
🐑 Gameday: Sheep vs. Blue Chew Bulldogs 💊🐶
📍 FTC | ⏰ 10:05pm (aka “past our bedtime but before our next dose”)
Tonight, the Sheep take on the Blue Chew Bulldogs — a team powered by effort, experience, and performance-enhancing pills for men over 40.
They may be old, but they’re stiff in the corners and ready to go for a full 60 (or at least four-hour shifts if symptoms persist).
Expect big hits, slow backchecks, and a whole lotta dudes claiming they “felt a pop” but kept going anyway.
It’s Friday night beer league hockey, brought to you by creaky knees, expired IcyHot, and a dangerous overconfidence in our cardio.