06/10/2024
Light a candle for this sweet boy and his mama tonight ❤️‍🩹
It’s Judah’s birthday today. To be really real, I don’t know what to do with myself. What should a mom do when she can’t have her child with her on his birthday ever again?
I went running this morning. Needed that. It helps settle my mind a bit.
I prayed and thought about my boy. I asked God to tell him happy birthday from momma. I’ve looked at pictures and watched videos and wanted to jump into the screen and disappear into them so that he would be alive again.
I shouldn’t have to imagine heaven to celebrate my child today. I should be able to walk into his room and wake him up with a big birthday hug.
I miss my child. Every second I miss him.
Today he would be 11-years-old. I lost him to drowning when he was 3.
I know God has him, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting him back every time I breathe.
Every year on each of my children’s birthdays, I quietly relive the days I gave birth to each of them and I’m doing that today through tears and the ache that only mommas with empty arms can understand.
At 9:15pm tonight, 11 years ago, I would have held my Judah in my arms for the very first time. At 9:15pm tonight, 8 years ago, I would have given him his very last birthday hugs and kisses.
At 9:15pm tonight, would you light a birthday candle in his honor and send me a photo in the comments below? Maybe we can shine those candles so bright that JuJu will see them from heaven. Would you do that? It would mean the world to me if you would. 💙💙💙
