01/05/2026
Healing often feels like a jumbled ball of Christmas lights.
No clear beginning. No obvious end. Just a knot of wires daring you to try.
And even if, by some miracle, you do find the end, the idea of patiently unravelling decades-old knots can feel overwhelming, if not completely futile.
But we try anyway.
Years of therapy. Countless insights. You finally loosen one strand, only to discover another layer underneath. Tighter. Older. More confusing. Waiting to be approached with the patience of a Buddhist monk and the nervous system of a saint.
At some point, we stare at the mess and want to scream, "Who did this? Who made this mess?!?"
But when we yell into the void, nothing answers.
No villain. No origin story. No satisfying “aha.”
And that lack of understanding only makes us angrier, until eventually we give up and decide we will never figure it out.
For my first seven years working as a psychedelic facilitator, I tried to help people find the end and untangle the knots one by one. I was essentially using psychedelics as a therapeutic tool.
I believed that if I was skilled enough, smart enough, I could loosen things just enough for people to feel better.
And often, they did. Otherwise, I would have stopped long ago.
But over the past three years, working within an Indigenous lineage, something fundamental has shifted.
I have learned that the medicine already knows EVERYTHING about us.
The Doctors I work with have access to tools no human mind could possibly comprehend. They do not need to find the plug and carefully untangle the mess.
They pull out metaphysical wire cutters and slice clean through years of illusion.
As I have learned to trust the Doctors, my role has softened. My work has become sweeter. And the progress of those I serve has become far more profound.
Psychedelic assisted therapy has its place. It is safe. It is structured. It is understandable. Especially for the Western mind that's keeping track and tallying wins.
But sometimes, understanding is the problem.
It is all energy, kids.
And if it came with you into this incarnation, you may never understand it. You're like a fish swimming around who doesn't know he's wet.
