11/05/2023
"You'll also find that as resentment dissipates, your emotional resilience will grow. Your ability to handle stress, anger, and fear will no longer hinder your capacity for love and connection. They will balance each other out, in a harmonious cycle that feeds your emotional and spiritual well-being.
Resentment may not vanish overnight. It's a process of unfolding, a journey that you take one step at a time. But every step you take is a step away from the crippling grip of resentment and a step closer to a life filled with love, impact, and fulfillment.
Remember, you are much stronger than you think you are, much braver than you know. The crumbling, the crawling, and even the failing are not signs of your defeat but of your transformation." An excerpt from my upcoming book: When Pain is Your Mistress.
This week, I've traversed a deeply personal journey that has led me to a new freedom—one that has shifted my perspective on a lingering resentment towards my ex-partner. It was a burden that I carried for 3.5 years, a silent poison that was slowly leeching away my vitality and joy. There was abuse towards myself and my son that I couldn't forgive.
This all changed when I embraced the power of feeling emotions that were scary. With the guidance of a two somatic coaches, I allowed myself to truly FEEL the rage, to experience the full intensity of my emotions. And it was through this raw confrontation that I found liberation from resentment. (BTW: Resentment is actually not connected to rage, It is actually connected to jealousy. Do you see the ripple of impact here?)
In my upcoming book, I delve into a chapter titled "Father Wound: The Unseen Resentment," where I explore the often unaddressed bitterness stemming from our earliest relationships. It's a wound that doesn't always show, but it’s ever-present, lurking beneath our high achievements and pursuits for validation.
This wound is not just a source of pain but also a potential catalyst for growth. When we confront our resentment, we open ourselves up to an expansive capacity for love and forgiveness, not only towards others but, most crucially, towards ourselves.
As a mother, as a leader, and as a relationship expert, I've seen the corrosive effects of unaddressed emotional wounds. Two weeks ago, my son experienced a trauma during a basketball tryout and it was a stark reminder of my own past pains and the deep-seated resentments that stemmed from the pain.
But there's a silver lining. When we dare to face our pain, we allow ourselves to heal and, in doing so, unlock an extraordinary new perspectives for our own journey with emotional resilience, love, and connection.
🔥 We high achievers often carry the weight of unmet expectations and unhealed traumas—echoes of a past that can cloud our present. But let me tell you, the moment you choose to confront those shadows is the moment you begin to see the light.
I am here to tell you that it is possible to move beyond rage and resentment. It is possible to transform it into something that propels you forward. Today, I stand with a heart unburdened by anger, ready to embrace love in its purest form.
So to all my fellow high achievers, my message to you is this: Your strength is formidable, your capacity for love is boundless, and your potential for impact is immense. Let's step into this power together.
