06/10/2026
Starfleet Neighborhood Advisory
Attention citizens of the Winston Sector:
It has come to the attention of Starfleet Command that some neighboring planetary systems remain deeply concerned with what occurs on our 40 acres of commercial territory of over 50 years.
As a reminder, if you attended a township meeting specifically to attempt to bust my balls, and then decide to call either my communicator or Galaxy Princess Crystal’s communicator to inform us once again that you disapprove of what we’re doing over here… there is a strong probability that phone call will not be the most productive diplomatic mission in Federation history.
For the record:
✅ Yes, we take in strays of all kinds.
✅ Yes, our parking lot has slowly evolved into a refuge center for wandering friends, race fans, and assorted space travelers.
✅ Yes, traffic around here is only going to get more interesting.
✅ Yes, we got a brand-new road, and frankly, it’s pretty awesome.
Instead of calling to complain, feel free to stop by and see the progress being made. There are exciting projects happening everywhere you look, and this weekend you can catch racing action Friday and Saturday.
While you’re here, be sure to wave to our neighbor on the southwest corner the one who parks a semi in the middle of the road. He’s become such a regular part of the story that we’re considering adding him to the Winston Speedway tour guide script. Rumor has it he’s still not entirely thrilled with the situation but did ask for free season passes twice.
Live long, prosper, and try not to monitor your neighbors more closely than the Romulans.
— Admiral Andrew Heykoop
USS Winston Speedway
Home of the Real Friday Night Lights 🏁🖖