08/13/2026
I’ll admit, I'm not the best houseplant parent.
I was inspecting one of my plants the other day – looking at the yellowing, wilting leaves and wondering: “What the heck is going on below the surface?”
That’s when it hit me.
There’s only so much I can understand about my plants by looking at them.
I have to go beneath the surface and look at the roots. Even more, I have to inspect the pot and the soil, and examine if the conditions are right for that plant to thrive.
Making change in our lives is kind of the same thing.
We assume all that matters is the part of our lives we can see…
…Our jobs, our physical health, our relationships, etc.
Just like a houseplant that lives in dry or diseased soil, we can only thrive when we take into account the systems and structures that our lives are built upon:
Capitalism.
Patriarchy.
Racism.
White Supremacy.
And my favorite, what I like to call The Traditional Path for High Achieving Women.
The Traditional Path for High Achieving Women is like the fertilizer that was mixed into your soil on Day 1 – and has been allowed to infiltrate the entire pot.
It’s the lie that you have to push yourself. That you can’t rest. That you have to excel.
It’s the lie that you have to look a certain way, act a certain way, live a certain way.
It’s the lie that – if you just work hard enough, pay your dues, and follow the prescribed path – you'll be successful.
I believe the biggest mistake we make is assuming that our soil is clean. That the changes we want to make or the dreams we have for their lives can be accomplished simply by taking care of what’s on the surface.
Which means the biggest opportunity in front of us is this:
Look at the container you were planted in.
Examine the soil that surrounds you.
Untangle your roots so your leaves can grow bigger.
Upgrade to a larger pot and put yourself in the sunshine.
As always, it's the inner work that fuels the outer changes we want. So, what’s going on under the surface? Is the soil you're sitting in setting you up to thrive?
