12/30/2023
I CARE ABOUT HOW OTHERS THINK ABOUT ME
“I Don’t Care” Is one of the easiest phrases that expose those who are novice at BEing & mindset work.
It is a component of personal health, mental, fat loss, you name it that seldom is discussed.
Run from any coach or guru preaching not to care what others think.
Why?
Firstly, we all want and even crave that most dreaded or four-letter words… LOVE.
Those attempting to be “tough” and dismiss love are doing so out of pain, it is a learned protective response from feeling unsafe.
When we are seriously hurt, generally early in life, and left feeling unloved, many will create this strategy out of the need to survive environments that they are powerless in.
Been there, did that, for decades.
While it works temporarily, this strategy leads to being the closed off person in a relationship, then you’re left confused once you end up having to face this tendency in therapy as your relationships are crumbling, or worse, you’re always finding yourself unable to feel attached to anyone to form any serious type of relationship.
Secondly, at the precise moment “I Don’t Care About _______” appears, you have proven you DO care about that thing or person.
If you truly didn’t give a s**t it wouldn’t be on your mind, at all.
You wouldn’t be aware of it.
Negating something you’re aware of leads to unneeded internal struggle and mental & emotional load.
It’s better to determine your real emotions & thoughts about ____________ and work on those.
There is still more going on here but you get the point, what matters most is what we are going to do about it.
Here’s the strategy that helps me the most.
I want and need feedback from people closest to me, TRUSTED individuals, that is the key word here.
It’s essential as we can compare what we are feeling and thinking about ourselves to what these trusted people are seeing & feeling.
These are two points combined with the all important “results,” the outcomes from how we are BEing, that act as our compass forward.
While it may be tempting to try and make progress alone, realize that this is the telltale sign that ego is influencing how you are feeling and thinking.
Yes, it IS uncomfortable to confide in others and trust them, especially when we have to be vulnerable, but from personal experience I learned the hard way that trying to suppress thoughts and feelings only amplifies them, and gives ego fuel to manipulate and distort how we perceive reality and thus act.
I can’t stress enough how crucial this is, and that it took me 20+ years of different therapies to accept this truth.
This is why I give my VIP clients my cell number and permission to reach out to me 24/7, whether it is to celebrate wins or process obstacles that otherwise would fester and derail their efforts.
You’d be amazed at how the simple act of leaving a message begins to course correct our struggles.
