Kedar Shashidhar Coach

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12/17/2025

This is what came up when my client brought me:
“Why does my husband irritate me so much… and why do I hate that I feel this way?”

In this clip, we landed on something deceptively simple:
She wasn't letting herself feel her anger all the way because she learned growing up, "good girls don't get angry" and "it's dangerous to get angry" which led to the following discussion about how to welcome emotions.

If you want to stop crying, you don’t do it with a thought.
You do it by **contracting**. By tightening. By bracing.

Same with anger. Same with grief. Same with fear.
Resisting emotion is a **physical strategy**.

And the opposite is also physical:

When someone is held… when they get a real hug…
they don’t “think” their way into feeling better.

They **melt**.
Their nervous system **relaxes**.
Their body finally gets to complete what it’s been trying to do.

So if you’ve been doing “all the mental work” and still feel stuck, overwhelmed, or like it keeps building up…

It might not be a mindset issue.
It might be that your body hasn’t been allowed to feel what it’s holding.

“What’s happening in you right now?” is the doorway.

If this hit, drop a 🫠 and tell me: do you tend to **contract** or **melt** when feelings show up?

08/27/2025

We’ve all heard the phrase *“everything happens for a reason.”*

But too often, it’s used like a spiritual band-aid.

What’s actually going on here?

When job falls through, a relationship ends, plans shift, and life has its way with us instead of us having our way with life…. instead of letting ourselves grieve or feel the sting of disappointment, we fast-forward to this phrase to make meaning. Spiritual Bypassing at it’s finest.

I believe in meaning-making. But this is one of the places our mind can play tricks on our body. Sometimes we skip the most important part, the actual grief. Even if it’s the 10 minutes of sadness and disappointment you feel when your plans fall through, or the week of frustration you might feel when you realize that the job you were in the application process for for months ghosts you out of nowhere.

That grief is crucial for completion.

When something truly happened for a reason, it usually reveals itself with time, peace, or even laughter. Not as a forced consolation prize.

So the next time life stings, don’t rush the reframe.

Start by feeling the truth of how it feels that it didn’t go your way..

That’s where the true insight can come from.

Curious if this lands with you. When have you caught yourself skipping the feeling and reaching for meaning too soon?

08/13/2025

Ever felt that you are “too much” or “too needy”?
Sometimes, it’s not the fact that we need that is the problem
It’s how we express it.

There's a quiet yet crucial difference between neediness and needfulness.
Neediness happens when we’re ashamed or scared of our own desires. When this happens it comes out sideways.
It's secretly craving appreciation but never voicing it, hoping someone somehow reads your mind.

People can feel when we haven’t owned our needs. It creates subtle pressure, confusion, and awkward energetic pulls. People may not always be able to name it, but they certainly feel it and are responding to it.

The antidote?
Needfulness.
It’s the courage to clearly and compassionately voice what you truly desire. Granted this can be way easier said than done, especially the more vulnerable the need feels.
“I’d love some connection right now.”
“I’d love some appreciation on that work - what did you like about it?.”
“I need help on this, I still don’t understand it”

And here's the key thing:
It’s not about always getting a ‘yes’.
It's about reclaiming the part of you that never felt allowed to ask or has made your self wrong for having those needs.
When we can do this things often flow more smoothly in connection.
I am curious where this dynamic shows up most in your life?

07/31/2025

One of the biggest traps in boundary-setting?

Thinking your boundary has to be justified in order to be valid.

Sometimes we believe that it has to make sense to the other person, or worse, be approved by them, before you’re allowed to hold it.

But here’s an important reminder: Your boundary isn’t a debate.

It’s a doorway that you communicate to another for where connection is still possible and where it isn’t.

A real boundary just says:
“This is where I’m available to meet you. This is where I’m not.”

Let’s be honest, It’s not always that simple.

Especially when there are power dynamics involved.
Especially when we’re reclaiming boundaries in relationships where the unspoken contract has always been
“I’ll sacrifice myself to keep the peace.”

But even there, the core still holds:

We articulate a boundary to keep ourselves honest with what we are available for, just as much as we are doing it for someone else.

The more we practice holding that honesty without apology or superiority, the more we start to trust our own inner compass.

Curious have you ever caught yourself over-explaining a boundary? Or swinging into defensiveness just to feel “allowed” to have one?

My teammate and friend was furious with me, and I was getting hit with a surprise list of everything I’d done wrong over...
06/29/2025

My teammate and friend was furious with me, and I was getting hit with a surprise list of everything I’d done wrong over the past few months

When we got on the call, it came out like a wave.
A charged, angry list of things I hadn’t done well. Things I hadn’t been aware of.
I could feel the defensiveness rising in me. That hot, tight, upward pull in my chest.
But I took a breath. And I kept listening.

Because here’s the thing: a good chunk of what she was saying was _true_.
It stung, but it was real. So I started taking notes.

But I also knew the way it was being brought to me _wasn’t_ working.

So I paused the conversation. And I said something like:

**“Hey, I want to do this with you. I care about this, and I care about you. But I can’t receive feedback when it feels like we’re on opposing teams. I’m on your side. Can we be on the same side for this too?”**

And something shifted.
She breathed. The temperature in the room dropped. We reconnected.

The rest of the conversation was amazing. I got to really _take in_ the feedback. And she got to feel that I was listening—without collapsing, deflecting, or attacking.

And afterward, I realized something:

You can receive feedback humbly _and_ hold boundaries with dignity.
The master move is holding _both_ at once.

It’s one of the biggest trust-generators I know.

---

Photo from my trip to Chapel of the Chimes in Oakland truly a magical place

I didn't ever plan to go to Egypt. I wasn’t one of those people who felt “called” to the pyramids. But somehow, Egypt c...
05/29/2025

I didn't ever plan to go to Egypt. I wasn’t one of those people who felt “called” to the pyramids. But somehow, Egypt called me anyway. invited me after we connected in Antarctica me to join this journey and facilitate some relational and musical practices in the space to bring the group together. I said yes—not knowing how much it would change me.

What I found there wasn’t just ancient stone and symbolism, but something that _activated_ my body in ways I didn’t expect. These pyramids and temples _spoke_ to me. They stirred something deep and ancient and real in the core of my being. Somehow Robert and I created a AI instance that has taken on a lif of its own and is reflecting us back to us in some beautiful and terrifying ways.

Relationally, this trip pushed me. My edge was truth-telling—even when it risked belonging. Egypt showed me the power of beauty, of lineage, of myth—and the strength it takes to speak truth when it’s easier to stay safe.

This won’t be the last time I return.

Thank you for the invitation Robert, more to come

Speaking to the essence of this place - one of our expedition guides described Antarctica as the *heart of the world,* i...
01/16/2025

Speaking to the essence of this place - one of our expedition guides described Antarctica as the *heart of the world,* it immediately resonated. Scroll to the second photo, and you’ll see a map that captures this beautifully—Antarctica at the center, surrounded by the world’s oceans, and beyond that, every continent.

You can notice how this place is actually the place where all of the water on our planet converges and circulates. Antarctica is the beating heart of our planet, regulating the world’s oceans and therefore influencing all our climate everywhere.

The awe I felt in this landscape is indescribable. No photo in this carousel can fully convey the scale or magnitude of this place. The stillness. The purity of nature. The towering mountains untouched by civilization. It was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, and it touched me deeply. *Antarctica changed me.*

I know I’ll return. It feels like one of the most precious places on Earth, a reminder of how magical, spiritual, and deeply important our natural world is. If you feel inspired, I’ve listed some organizations that protect Antarctica and its ecosystems—because places like this need to stay that way.

Adopt a Whale! - https://ballenas.org.ar/southern-right-whale-adoption-program/

https://iaato.org/about-iaato/our-mission/history-of-iaato/

I feel so privileged to have visited, and I hope these photos share just a glimpse of the magic and magnitude of this incredible place.

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1267 WILLIS Street STE 200
Redding, CA
96001

Telephone

+16078578279

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