12/17/2025
This is what came up when my client brought me:
“Why does my husband irritate me so much… and why do I hate that I feel this way?”
In this clip, we landed on something deceptively simple:
She wasn't letting herself feel her anger all the way because she learned growing up, "good girls don't get angry" and "it's dangerous to get angry" which led to the following discussion about how to welcome emotions.
If you want to stop crying, you don’t do it with a thought.
You do it by **contracting**. By tightening. By bracing.
Same with anger. Same with grief. Same with fear.
Resisting emotion is a **physical strategy**.
And the opposite is also physical:
When someone is held… when they get a real hug…
they don’t “think” their way into feeling better.
They **melt**.
Their nervous system **relaxes**.
Their body finally gets to complete what it’s been trying to do.
So if you’ve been doing “all the mental work” and still feel stuck, overwhelmed, or like it keeps building up…
It might not be a mindset issue.
It might be that your body hasn’t been allowed to feel what it’s holding.
“What’s happening in you right now?” is the doorway.
If this hit, drop a 🫠 and tell me: do you tend to **contract** or **melt** when feelings show up?