09/10/2022
Better order them before they are gone! 🐺
At Minuteman ammo we take werewolf defense seriously. Lycanthropes can be lethal, if not extremely infectious. Whether you're confronted by an ancient werewolf from Scythia or Arcadi, or decedents of Vuad, the child eating beast, or a modern day Vlkolak, you can never be too prepared to dispatch a lycanthrope with prejudice.
Insidiously tough, thick skinned and athletic beasts of prey, their sole weakness, silver. As part of our duty to outfit our citizenry with best defensive ammunition available, for common and unique defensive situations, we were driven to develop and load 99.9% pure silver projectiles. Our solid silver projectiles are manufactured locally, exclusively for Minuteman Ammo Company. They are hand crafted to exacting tolerances, buffed and polished for reliable operating in semi-auto pistols, revolvers or carbine rifles. We load them in Starline nickel plated brass. All Werewolf Defense ammo is fully functional, live fire performance tested, real ammunition. In testing, the silver projectile stays intact, with little deformation and performs similar to a solid copper projectile. A 357 Magnum round will pe*****te 18" of 10% ballistic gelatin, other caliber rounds have similar performance. Just a grazing wound with the lycanthrope can be lethal, but with a solid hit, they will be easily dispatched by a single round. Naturally, wolves are pack animals, so its best to have back up rounds.
Current criminal law has long forgotten the historical precedent of the Ecclesiastical Ordinances, so modern day prosecutors will be hopeless in deterring an attack from the likes of Gilles Garnier, or other modern day, hypertrichosis stricken zombies.
We at Minuteman Ammo strongly support the lawful and justified defensive use of the Werewolf brand ammunition. We do not encourage proactive, lycanthrope hunting without proper tags, licenses and permissions to hunt.
This is ONE round, shipped a custom engraved rosewood casket. ONE SINGLE ROUND of live ammunition.
All ammunition sales are FINAL. We cannot accept ammunition back once it's left our custody.
Please allow 3-4 days for packaging and shipping, as these products are purpose built in our exclusive anti-wolfs lair, by our dedicated staff of Leprechauns & Wizards.
Transylvania Sales: Due to the current ITAR export regulations, we cannot ship to Transylvania.
Bavarian Sales: Please contact the Deutschland Wehrmacht Div. Werwolf GMbH, for exclusive sales in this territory.
Greifswald Residents: We offer bulk rate, belted 8mm Ma**er rounds, government contract rate orders for your residents. Not for sale outside of Greifswald.
London Sales: Prior to placing an order, forward your MI-5 import certification, valid only with a wet signature from King Charles III.
Michigan resident sales: Still available, but get a new governor before she bans them.
Forks WA residents: We'll sell and ship them to you, but all your lychanthropes are really nice. Maybe invite them over for a game of Jenga?
Estonian Sales: Please provide provenance of your relation to Diabolus Sylvarum
California Sales: If you live in California the state laws require your ammo be shipped to your FFL. Please use their address for the shipping and make it
C/O the FFLs Business Name. Tell them not to laugh, when you purchase 1 round of ammo and have it transferred via these stupid rules.
Illinois Sales: Your state government just doesn't like you. If you live in Illinois, the state law requires us to get your FOID card and drivers license. Please send these to our email [email protected] and we will get your # added to your account for future purchases.
New York Sales: New Yorkers, might have it worse than the folks from Illinois. If you live in New York the state laws require your ammo be shipped to your FFL. Please use their address for the shipping and make it
C/O the FFLs Business Name. Again, ask them not to laugh at importing a single round.
Connecticut Sales: Almost as bad as NY or Illinois, don't worry, you'll get there. If you live in Connecticut the state law requires a handgun carry permit, gun sales permit, or long gun or handgun eligibility certificate, and an ammunition certificate and presents to the seller such certificate along with a driver’s license, passport, or other valid government-issued identification that contains the person’s photograph and date of birth. Please email these to our email [email protected] and we will get this document on your account for future purchases.
Massachusetts sales: Y'all need these things. You know Lycanthropes and witches go together like peas and carrots. If its one things MA has in greater numbers in the lower 48, its witches. If you live in Massachusetts the state law requires a license for the purchase or possession of ammunition. Please email these to our email [email protected] and we will get this document on your account for future purchases.
New Jersey Sales: Seriously, you should just buy a flack jacket and bulk up on hollowpoints. Camden is freaking crazy. If you live in New Jersey state law requires you to provide a Fi****ms Purchaser Identification Card, a permit to purchase a handgun, or a permit to carry a handgun. Please email these to our email [email protected] and we will get this document on your account for future purchases.
Rhode Island Sales: If you live in Rhode Island the state law requires a license for the purchase or possession of ammunition, that seems really dumb. Please email these to our email [email protected] and we will get this document on your account for future purchases.
Hawaii Residents: Lucky for you, the state banned the import of lycanthropes, so you don't have any, lol. We know how well criminally intent lycanthropes follow laws. But seriously, you're on an island. You're totally screwed, especially if you're a Haole, I mean they even name the tastiest scooby snacks on the island, Howlies. Hawaii, get real, you're F'ed.
District of Columbia: We can't sell to you, the government is so trustworthy, they'll take care of you. How's that working out for you? If you place an order it will be canceled and refunded immediately. In fact, we may actually dox you to the Lycanthrope Society of the the Greater Baltimore Metroplex, yeah, the LSGBM. Seriously, get out of there while you can, the Werewolves aren't an issue, its the all the hot air above the swamp that's going to kill you.
