Ray Fox All Stars

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06/26/2024

Stars climb to 6-4….hold off the Fighting Flux Capacitors!!

Big win for the HooRAY team as they alter the championship futures of the Conflux Flux Capacitors 19-14 tonight.

Biff Tannen’s sports book couldn’t predict the hit parade as the Stars went George McFly on the Fluxers!…the Stars are not willing to take their “damn hands” off a possible league championship trophy just yet.

If you take the .600 winning percentage into MLB standards that’s like winning 98 games this season……it’s pennant fever in Wagon Wheel Ray Fox Stars land…..matter of fact …..if you buy a pizza on Tuesday night at the Wheel you could even win tix to the next Stars tilt at Powers Park……can I get a Hoo Pepperoni!!!

Star Players of the game….

Jerrid Smith - Stayed hot, crispy and crusty and hit a key grand Salami sausage with extra cheese while going 4-6 and played stellar D in center field

Shane Cook - went 4-4 with a sac fly and initiated 2 double cheese plays to spearhead the Stars defense

Jamie Fornwalt- came off the 15 day DL to deliver a solid pitching performance on the mound ( mound of fries) and had multiple hits too

Stars are back in action next Tuesday for two games…..Pizza! Pizza! Let’s slice it up again then!!!….HooRAY!!!!

06/19/2024

Softball Goons!!!😀

06/19/2024

Tuesday Action - Bar Wars II

Hot Shots took on your beloved Stars tonight for the highly anticipated second match up of the year.

The fans were jacked to the moon for the tilt.

Hot Shot fans were tailgating and drinking high end drinks like the “Sex with Ray on the beach” The “Screaming Raygasm” “Rayger Bombs” and “Raytinis”……just to get the goat of the Stars fans…..and it was working…

The RAYdas tailgaters known as “The Fox Hole” were sticking to their High Balls and pitchers of beer……

There was lots of jawing …..and a few reported cases of swirlies and forced urinal cake eating in the Powers Park bathrooms ……who did what?….nobody really knows…..but everyone DOES know that the Grandmas are usually the worst actors……it was real soccer/rec league softball GOON like stuff….

The Hot Shotters jumped out to a big 14-1 lead after 2……The Stars were stunned but fought back to make it 16-12 after 3.

In the end The Shots were like hitting machines and
The Stars were more like -I’ve got a fuel tank for a drinking/sex machine…but can’t quite get the diesel running hot enough for a hitting machine…..that proved to be the difference……

Final score -Hot Shots 24 - Stars 14

The loss halts a 3 game victory streak for the Stars and their first loss in their beloved Blue jerseys….They now stand at 5-4 overall….

Stars players of the game

Jerrid Smith - 2 big home runs and shook off a forced swirlie given by a Hot Shots Grandma Fan (allegedly)

Adam (AGB) - two key hits and took two forced urinal cakes for the team. (Again allegedly)

Brian Sperry - had a hit and gave out two swirlies dressed as a RF Stars grandma (once again allegedly)

Join us again next week….same RAYcom network….and as always HooRAY!!!!!

06/12/2024

Stars win! Cook shines in warmups!!

While Coach Cook was going all airport in pregame warmups …..The Stars had a players only meeting to clear the air about the last time they met up with Wards.

IF our faithful readers recall - that performance was so stale it made a Paul Niznak Tw***ie taste like fresh manna from the heavens.

It was different this time. The Stars jumped out to a quick 8-1 lead. Jerrid Smith horsed a 3 run job out of the park and then Sam Smith followed up later with a key 3 run Ding Dong…..much like Forrest Gump and Bubba….the Smiths however are not of relation.

Then in the 7th Shane Cook (is of relation with Coach Cook) put the icing on the Little Debbie completing the trifecta with another 3 run bomb of his own.

Final score - Stars 20 - Wards 4

Casey Vos pitched the complete game victory from the hill keeping Wards off balance with an effective mix of lopsided 3 game old honey dew melon like softballs. (Likely from Niz’s produce section)

Little Edison Schrauben ( a legacy and Starla Schrauben’s grandcarnie) led the team cheers after the game as he yelled HooRAY and chanted ….Hell No College Drinks Gotta Go !!! Hell no College Drinks Gotta Go!!

Stars Players of the Game

The Team Defense

The Home run hitters….Jerrid, Sam and Shane

Tune in again next Tuesday and Hoo Hoo Hoo HooRAY!!!!

06/05/2024

Howdy Y’ALL Stars!!

The Stars came riding into town just a whomping and a whooping and put a good ole fashioned wood shedding to the Cedar Tree Massage squad 21-5 in 4 innings.

It reminded me of the time in 6th grade when Sister Carol caught us guys throwing erasers around class. 10 whacks across the knuckles….that was a wood shedding!!…Rumor had it Sister Carol was Mel Gibson’s stunt double in Lethal Weapon because that ruler was a registered lethal weapon.

The Stars post game celebration included a healthy heaping of real tasty vittles (Busch Lattes) and a cooling off in the ceeement pond (splash pad) on a warm evening.

Ray Fox All Stars Players of The Game

Brian Krieger - Ole Krieg had a 3 run homer and a solid performance in his first ever appearance as the lead off man for the Stars. He’s got leading man good looks so it made total sense to try him at lead off.

Casey Vos - Casey got his first ever appearance on the bump for the Stars and came through with the save after Jerrid Smith reached his pitch count after 2 innings. Casey may have shortened the 3 year waiting period to get that coveted Ray Fox All Stars jersey with his performance tonight.

Next Tuesday the Stars are in action at 8 and it’s Red Man to***co night! Think about coming down….or at least chew on it…..

Another big win for the Stars…RAY Yeah!!!!!!!

05/29/2024

It’s Tuesday night! That means Ray Fox All Star action!!

The Stars Rayaction to last weeks loss was biz like in working to rebuild the championship foundation built over the years. Tonight the Stars tuck pointed the Moyer Construction Mud Dogs 15-5 cementing a nice win.

The key was the entry into the Rec portal. The skipper didn’t look far as he found a Lear Court former Star who had a cup of coffee in the show.

The price was steep….. 1 pitcher of beer, 1 High Ball and 1 pickled egg from the pickle jar. Ironically this was Ray’s patented Business Man’s Special back in the day. Out the door for $1.69.

The curse of the Red Jersey continues. Going blue tonight it’s Blues 3-0, Reds 0-3.

Ray Fox All Star Players of the Game:

Owen Russell- Got the call and delivered. Hit a big 3 run job sparking The Stars. After that performance now even his Momma no longer calls Softball (Sooseball) The devil…..

Jerod Pung- Jerod came back from the DL with another solid performance and despite legal council from his agent….he still played under the threat of rain……That’s a team leader….

Tune in next week as the Stars look to keep serving up the High Balls ……HooRAY!!!!!

05/22/2024

The Stars were back in action tonight taking on a Hot Hot Shots club for their traditional trophy game in the annual Bar Wars tilt!

If you are not familiar with this historic tradition the winner gets possession of the Ole Deep Fried Urinal traveling trophy.

The action doesn’t get any better when bitter deep fried batter rivals square off in one of Merica’s greatest rivalries.

What’s more Americana than the Bars and Stars of Ray Fox and a deep fried urinal even Colonel Sanders would call finger lickin good??….

The Shots reached a boil quickly as a super sized amount of Hot Shotters Waltzed on Inn across the plate (which was also deep fried) to jump to a fast 14-3 lead.

The Stars responded by tatering enough tots to put up 10 fried plate deluxes and they were still hungry man hungry….

But it wasn’t enough as the Stars could never Elephant engin-Ear the come from behind win.

In the end the Hot Shots had the secret sauce to take home the coveted Fried Urinal and put the Stars in the No Fry Zone ….salting it away 25-10.

Although The Stars peed away the beloved Urinal and had a bad Bidet….
they will live to see another all you can eat fried buffet….

HooRAY!!!!!

05/15/2024

In tonight’s action The Stars had Two for Tuesday.

First up was Wards Garage at 8. It was like the Stars never got off the team bus….The Fox Flyer…..It was like we didn’t give a flying Fox….but I know that’s not true…

Hey…it’s gonna happen sometimes…I remember the night Ray dropped 5 consecutive pitchers of beer. He took it like a man, watched film and realized his moustache was out of balance, causing the pitchers to crest like a tsunami creating the spillage….he went home , trimmed up the stache and he was fine the rest of the season.

The eye in the sky don’t lie Star peeps…but there’s more beer in the keg….we’ll be fine.

But we do apologize to all the Die Hard Stars groupies out there (The Star Hards) who skipped out early from their Hot Yoga class to witness that fiasco….

Players of the game were:

Boober Schrauben - Boober broke up the no-no

The scorekeeper - He saved the city valuable electricity by not having to put up a score

Final - Wards 10, Stars 0

In the second game The Stars took on the defending champs TAG and came out smoking.…..literally….we had a half an hour to smoke ci******es after the first game quickie…

After an inspirational pregame speech (Did Ray quit when he was docked a days pay for dropping 5 pitchers in one night??…..HELL NO!!!….and we’re not gonna trim our mustaches right now)………..we doubled down on our lineup and jumped out to a quick 10-1 lead.

But TAG came back taking the lead 16-12 ….the Stars regained the lead going up 17-16 in the seventh but couldn’t hold on and dropped a tough one 19-17.

Players of the game were:

Shane Cook - 1st career Ray Fox All Stars Home run
(Still trailing his old man in career HR’s after 2 career games)

Mike Sonday - made The Ray Fox All Stars greatest fans of all time - Gerry and Gert Sonday - proud with an overall solid performance

Let’s all have a round of RAYger bombs to ease the pain of this week….The sun RAY’s will come up tomorrow…..

05/08/2024

Nice win for the RAYda’s tonight!!…The Stars cut down Cedar Tree Massage tonight 23-5 in a rainy affair. If this was back in the day ….”Monsoon” Mary Scheurer would have been proud as the Stars battled the elements and the Fighting Lumberjacks from Cedar Tree!!

Ray Fox All Star Players of the Game were:

Jerod Pung- He defied the fine print on his contract calling for …If there’s rain he must abstain… and turned it into “All Rain all Gain” and embraced Mother Nature in an excellent all around performance.

Jerrid Smith- Earned his first career Stars victory on the bump in convincing fashion…WWSSD…..what would Steve sonday do

Eric Simon- moved to short and batting clean up banged a big HR and got it done in the field…..as easy as a Raytini….

Until next week …..

Hoo! Hoo! HooRAY!!!

05/01/2024

After a Rainout…Opening Night for the Stars tonight !!

The Stars slugged out a nice win vs a rugged Moyer Construction Mud Dogs club with the final being 14-10

Ray Fox All Star Players of the game included :

Jerrid Smith - 2 Home Runs, 10 Busch lights contributed to the Ray Fox Foundation Can drive and still Mark Smiths favorite off spring….

Adam Schrauben - a hit, a key tag at the plate to thwart a Mud Dogs threat and generous donations to the Stars Can Drive…

Sam Smith - Ray Fox All Stars debut, 1st career RBI, still no GBI’s ( gorillas batted in) but wait til next week

Hoo? Hoo? Hoo gonna beat them Ray Fox All Stars??!!……HooRAY!!!!

In 24 hours we will celebrate the career of the greatest left handed 3rd baseman ( bats R throws L) in Portland Rec Leag...
10/02/2023

In 24 hours we will celebrate the career of the greatest left handed 3rd baseman ( bats R throws L) in Portland Rec League History as he enters our RAY-ing of Honor!!!

You think Miggy’s was emotional???….

When Smitty says his goodbyes you can tries and tries to not show your cries but their ain’t gonna be any dry eyes!!!!!!

6 PM Tues Oct 3, 2023 Powers Park….Get there! HooRAY!!!!!

The Ray Fox All Stars Alternate Jerseys have been released from the black hole……The RAYdas!!!!……Just win baby!!….HooRAY!...
07/27/2023

The Ray Fox All Stars Alternate Jerseys have been released from the black hole……The RAYdas!!!!……Just win baby!!….HooRAY!!!

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