Ashlee Sikorski Coaching

11/27/2021

06/15/2021

This morning I picked up the New York Times with my hot coffee savoring slow summer mornings. Spring here at Sway Leadership is what we call “retreat season,” and we conducted a total of 10 successful, fulfilling team sessions within the last few months.

It is nice to breathe and have a moment of pause before the fall (a.k.a. Retreat Season Part 2).

Going back to my story - I picked up the New York Times to enjoy reading. For my work rhythms, this is now a season of “intake” versus “output.” Our coaches, including myself, need periods of learning, mental enjoyment, and emotional rest in order to be the best coaches we can.

But this is not a post about learning to pace yourself. Nor is it about finding rhythms for your specific position.

I opened the paper to find an article, “The Case Against Zoos.” What I found inside myself was an immediate resistance and urge to turn the page to “How to Think Outside the Brain,” something that Enneagram teachings in the future would surely benefit from. Instead I took a moment to ask myself, what is my reasoning for not wanting to read the article? Why is it that my hand instructed the rest of my being not to read Emma Marris’s weekly column?

The answer was simple: I love zoos.

I have found pleasure in the past of being entertained by majestic animals and spending a leisurely afternoon with my godson dazzled by penguins plunging into the mechanically icy waters of their pen.

This made me wonder, what other information am I avoiding in order for me to not have to change my life? My patterns? My pleasures?

What biases get in the way of me becoming the leader I desire to be?

That’s the purpose of this post.

There is information, experts, 2-3 million years of human history and human wisdom around to guide you. It is up to us to tap into it and engage with reality.

I encourage you this morning to ask yourself: what are you avoiding?

What knowledge is at your disposal that will genuinely aid in you becoming the leader you’d like to be? What things should you Google but avoid googling?

For me, I value holistic leadership. The way I live outside of facilitation is arguably more important than how I conduct myself inside a Team Workshop. That said, I need to choose to engage with opinions outside and that may even conflict with my own. Sure the zoo example is a small one, but it is those small choices that make up who we are and who we are becoming.

What small choices are you avoiding today? Which conversations do you need to have? What personal retreats do you need to schedule? What routines should you start implementing to become the fuller, more dynamic leader you want to be?

01/26/2021

✌️SOUND ON.☀️
I love my city. When the sun comes out + several months of wintering ❄️ = public, social distanced dance party at Mount Tabor💃

12/21/2020

Appreciate these prompts on the inter solstice from the Portland Art Museum.

Tomorrow marks the winter solstice and the shortest day of the year. We invite you to spend some time reflecting on and writing about this arrival of winter, using this piece from Grandma Moses as inspiration. As a farm wife, Anna Mary Robertson Moses could not pursue her passion for art until she was in her seventies. This painting represents the joyous annual harvest of maple sugar, her favorite subject.

✌️ We have two prompts to help you get started. As always, you can choose one, both, or write whatever else comes. ⏰ Set a timer for 8 mins and just keep your pen moving.

Things to do on a winter day… / December smells like...

Writing in community is powerful. We are grateful to our longtime partner Write Around Portland for the writing prompts and inspiration. You can revisit past Sunday posts and look for continuing weekly posts through the winter. Please share your work with us!

Grandma Moses (American, 1860–1961). “Sugaring Off, Dark Sky,” 1948. Oil and tempera on commercial canvas board. Bequest from Mary and Pete Mark, 2018.77.11 © unknown, research required

[Image description: Sugaring Off, Dark Sky, Grandma Moses, 15 ½ x 19 ¾ inches, oil and tempera on commercial canvas board. A horizontal, rectangular landscape painting depicting a bustling outdoor winter scene. The painting is a bird’s eye view of people collecting and boiling maple sap to create syrup or sugar amid snow covered ground and trees. At bottom right are two men tending a fire on which a huge black, steaming cauldron boils. At bottom left, another man collects sap from a gray tree with bare, snow-covered branches. At bottom center two children play in front of an evergreen tree. A man and woman make sugar candy in the snow to their left. The center of the painting includes men driving horse drawn sledges containing more sap, children playing, people carrying buckets, people collecting sap from the many trees. A large, rambling, dark red house sits at right center and a light gray house is at left. Snow covered hills continue in the background and show more horse drawn sledges heading towards the action in the center of the painting. A stand of evergreen trees is at left in the distance. A dark gray sky completes the scene. The people wear shades of brown and black with many wearing brick-red and blue. The painting’s style is child-like with simply drawn faces and flat shapes and figures.]

11/10/2020

Questions that are taboo to ask at work:

1.) How am I feeling?
2.) Am I being myself?

Not addressing these points leads to miscommunication, lower work productivity/prioritization, and according to Brené Brown, anxiety and depression.

Conversely, people who are satisfied with their lives, work, and calling show up to a company engaged and ready to contribute to the making of a better world.

How can we get more creative at asking these questions at work?

What makes an authentic leader?

We confuse being adored or liked with grounded, Self-leadership.

Being a grounded leader means bringing who you actually are to work.

Observe your intentions behind your actions today. What comes up?

What could it look like to be more yourself?

10/20/2020

Back to real life after a week long personal retreat with the . It can feel like culture shock having to reintegrate after a beautiful experience of nature, community, and a deep knowing you are loved. Why cant the “real world” surface these things as easily or readily among our daily lives?

10/08/2020

This was my gateway into the world of poetry.

10/06/2020

What if paid ads told us we have everything we need to be happy?
To turn off our phones and look up at the people we are with?
A content and meaningful life is learning to live in a posture of "enough" - noting what’s most important and investing your time there. Noting what’s not important and not investing in those practices, relationships, or stuff.

09/22/2020

The first day of fall can feel like the beginning of a new year, and I’ve heard from many people that they can’t wait for 2020 to just be done. And, I’m mostly with you...
But also holding this reality that most people I speak to have used this season to orient toward what’s most important to them. These stressful circumstances are taking us away from what usually brings comfort: hanging at our favorite coffee shop or the commute to the office. There seems to be this common theme of refinement and character building for those who choose to open themselves to the pain, fear, and joy this pandemic season has brought.
I don’t know if that’s you, but it’s for sure me. These moments of COVID have been pain-FUL. A strong, sweet memento mori, whispering, “what if you only had today? What actually needs to change to live an engaged life? What/who doesn’t matter?”
Pain-FUL.
My husband and I joke, sure life is short, but actually it feels rather loooooooong. The years elapse and the same you, patterns, etc. are still there. And here we are given to chance to sit and be with ourselves.
This season has given me an opportunity to discover deeper, more complex, ugly, and beautiful pieces of myself, while alone. It’s oddly grounding that suffering can give us a stronger core to live from.
Anyways, that’s me. How has this season been for you?
Oh, and, Happy Fall. 🍁 Even on the darkest days we get to experience seasons, friends, have the opportunity to experience real beauty. Today Portland has blue skies. That’s the good stuff.

09/16/2020

Looking forward to teaching on the Enneagram, Communication and Intelligence Centers this Friday!
Anyone can join- RSVP using the link below.

Interactively learn a new communication style in this fast paced Enneagram workshop.

09/01/2020

What does it mean to work alongside another person well?
I regularly meet with teams and one of the main problems I encounter is people not feeling safe to show up vulnerably at their workplace. We don't say how we feel at work, and truthfully are unsure what to do with our emotions even though people who have a high E.Q. are 75% more successful than those with a low score.
How would work be different if it was the norm to speak more in line with one's reality? Such as, "hey, I' scared right now. The pandemic prevents me from sleeping. I think that is why I don't want to commit to this new proposal coming down from the executive team?" For leaders who manage teams, this needs to be modeled.
This September, Sway has two, 1-2 hour events geared toward communication; a key component is working well together. Not only are these events affordable, but also allow a sliding scale so every industry can attend.

My team does this work because we know that organizations built on psychological safety transform their work to become astronomically less stressful, more creative, and, yes, more productive.
I hope to see you at these trainings!
swayleadership.com/events

Attend a virtual workshop, training or space to process with other leaders.