11/17/2021
It was Bentley’s birthday a few days ago. And in about three weeks it will be Jakob’s birthday.
It’s been about a week since the midwives mentioned induction to us and today maternal fetal medicine strongly advised we do an induction at 37 weeks. That’s December 10th.
At first I hated the idea, I cried for an entire evening and then some. I wasn’t ready for Jakob to leave me, for the little kicks to stop, for this quiet private bond we’ve built to end, for him to leave the safety he’s in now and to be exposed to this crazy world we live in. I still feel that way, and am still not sure if it’s even rational considering how difficult pregnancy has been on my body.
But, he is healthy right now and the medical team has assured us that he looks ready to join us at 37 weeks and do not expect any issues for him. If we wait, that could change… for him and especially for me.
The concern right now is for me and my health, short and long term. So reluctantly I’m agreeing. I don’t want to be induced. But Jakob deserves a healthy momma.
I’m excited to see his face, squeeze his cheeks, watch him stretch out, and hear all the fun noises he’ll make. But I’m anxious, and I’m in my feels. All the emotions on top of the rush to get all the things together, organized, and ready - it’s a lot.
People don’t talk about this part of pregnancy. We see the happy bump photos and smiles and nurseries and everything looks like an easy dream. When in realty, it’s not always like that.
There are definitely days like that, don’t get me wrong. There are happy moments and laughs and so much joy about our little miracle. But it’s not constant or consistent.
Let’s normalize what the pregnancy journey is actually like. Let’s be real and honest and open. When we’re vulnerable, it allows others to feel validated in their journeys, to be vulnerable, and to ask for support if they need it. I have wonderful support from my husband, my family, close friends, and staff. I’m so thankful for that. 🤍
So happy birthday Bentley, you old pup. We got you a baby brother this year, he’ll be here to pull on your hair sooner than you know it 💙