09/22/2025
For my 50th birthday, I was given the diagnosis of generalized and social anxiety and panic disorders. Now, 5 years later it’s confirmed and official that those diagnoses are most likely because I am on the autism spectrum. This answers a lot for me—why I don’t like crowds, lots of lights, and standing in line (the worst); why the right socks have to be worn with the right shoes, why I can’t eat certain foods and why most food is weird, why textures on clothes and the tags on them most of the time don’t feel good; why I never know if im doing or saying the right thing; why I hyper focus on things I love but can’t find it in me to do the things I don’t, why I watch reality shows to figure out what things mean and that you can have a fight and make up (doesn’t mean they’ll hate you forever), why I love being outside and the sun and the water, why I love organization and structure but the same ole same old routine is frustrating, why I get so overwhelmed sometimes and don’t know why, how I can finish someone’s sentences and hate small talk, why Im blunt but learned to be silent because i felt no one understood, why I spell sentences in my head to slow down my brain, why my sense of justice is so strong… and the list goes on. There Is also maybe a diagnosis of OCD but it, too, might be because of the autism. So, now my journey begins to understand my autism. Yep! There you have it. All me! And I love me more and more every day!! No matter your label or diagnosis you have, you are worthy! Please, love yourself.
