12/20/2022
I do not post too often here.
Those who new him and were close, new who I am and how much we loved each other.
He was everything for me. And I know, beyond being a sensei, he was family for many of yours and he is missed around the world.
When we lost him, the world got smaller and darker. His light was the way for many of us.
I am really grateful for all the support I got from his amazing friends. I seriously do not know, how I would survive this without going crazy, without the immense love and support I got. But it still hurts. I miss him every day. And I know I am not alone with this. It still hurts, that I could no go to his funeral due to covidlock. It still hurts, that I could not meet with all of you. That we could not share a hug. That we could not go and gather together in a dojo and throw each others around. It still hurts. That we could not share pictures and tell stories to each other. It still hurts. I feel robbed. And what happened, happened. There is no way to go back to the past. But it still hurts. I miss him. But not just him, our life together and with that all of you guys. I miss the seminars, which have been and I miss the ones which were waiting for us in the future. I miss all the people, whom I met through him and I miss those, whom were written in my stars to meet. I miss all the hugs what we could not share. I miss all the stories what we missed. It hurts. And I know I am not alone.
One of his longtime student was kind enough to organise a memorial for him and for me.
I know, there are many, whom have not forgotten him, and he will be remembered around the globe everywhere. If I could, I would show up in every dojo, where he thought aikido. But I cannot do that. Please remember my heart will be with all of you, who miss him.