08/01/2025
"They Donât Listen"
And Why That Might Be Your Cue to Change
There seems to be a mysterious but consistent connection between an adultâs rising blood pressure and a childâs inability to listen. Iâve seen it play out time and again: a teacher, a parent, or a caregiver slowly unraveling as they repeat themselves for the fifth, sixth, or seventh time, while the child seemingly tunes them out without a care.
But hereâs the thing: whether we realize it or not, weâre always teaching. Every interaction sends a message, even the ones where we feel ignored. When children consistently hear us repeat directions without consequence, they begin to learn that thereâs no urgency in listening the first, or even second time. In essence, weâre training them not to listen.
That doesnât mean we stop being patient or understanding. But patience doesnât mean passivity. There's wisdom in the old idiom, âActions speak louder than words.â If our actions show that our words carry weight, that listening is expected and that accountability follows- children are far more likely to respond. On the other hand, if our words come without action, they may start to seem optional, even irrelevant.
So whatâs the solution?
Be calm, but firm. Be kind, but consistent. Donât delay when correction is needed. Set the tone early: listening is part of respect, and respect is non-negotiable.
Otherwise, youâll find yourself endlessly repeating, endlessly frustrated, and stuck in a cycle where your words fall on deaf ears, and your patience wears thin.
-Joshua Hong
Instructor
Eternal Martial Arts