04/20/2026
Read the whole thing. I lost a much beloved horse today because I couldn't get any veterinarians to even return my calls in a proper time span (over one week) and this is the result.
This is what happens when veterinarians refuse to answer emergency calls because they no longer do emergency or farm calls. In Northeast Arkansa, if you have a life and death emergency with a horse, you are f*cked.
Something needs to be done about this.
In Memory of Baba The Curly Mustang (Baba Yaga), 1999-2026
She was the one horse above all else I have ever owned that I truly loved more than life itself. She was truly a "one person horse" and she would instantly dump anyone else that put a leg over her, and then run over to me. She could be stubborn as a mule one minute and then the absolutely perfect horse the next. She would get mad if you didn't ride her every single day. If I missed a day riding her, she would express her anger by trying not to be caught and would only let you catch her when you finally gave up and then she would block you from getting through the pasture gate until you caught her. Baba put the "Wild" in "Wild Mustang" for sure. She was the possibly the smartest horse I have ever known.
The saddest thing about her passing is that her pasture mate Abby The Thoroughbred is truly heartbroken over this. Abby is still out there where Baba is laying awaiting burial and expressing grief like I've never seen a horse do before. This is the most heartbreaking thing about it. Abby has been uttering vocalizations of grief and mourning that I have never heard come out of a horse before. It's been going on all day and likely to continue through the night. Even Dotty The Goat (who loves and follows the horses and the horses love her too) appears to be in mourning and will not leave the spot.
My heart is broken. I have never felt such grief even at the passing of a human. Selfish as it may seem, my grief is bottomless and there is now a hole in my heart that can only be filled even by the sweetest memories of Baba The Curly Mustang.
This moment was inevitable as all endings are. Life is all impermanence, transience and imperfection, but that is what life is. We have no choice to accept it as it is and live with it. Every horse we own or know is a lesson about life from beginning to end and beyond. As Chief Seattle said, "The rocky crests, the juices in the meadows, the body heat of the pony, and man—all belong to the same family"
Some horses teach us humility. Some teach us to abandon our hubris and bravado. All horses test our character and, if we are wise enough understand, to love all living things as equals. The best horses teach us to understand ourselves and those are the horses we truly love the most. And with the right wisdom and mind, our horses will love us in return and that is the greatest reward the world can give those of us who truly love all horses.
Today, when Baba died, a part of my soul died with her. It has been said that Hell is separation from that which we love and Baba's passing is that Hell and death is the wall. If there is a Heaven and Baba is not there, I don't want to go. God can send me to wherever she is. I could not believe in a God that would keep us from the horses we loved nor could such a God exist that would take our horses from us in the afterlife and keep us from what we truly love. In serving what we love we serve God.
It might seem blasphemy to some, but the closest thing I have experienced to God in this life is galloping at a dead run on a fast horse and putting my life in the hands and all my trust in that horse.
Baba taught me the most important thing: how to live with trust and how to die with dignity and grace with a middle finger held high against the wall of death and to accept the inevitable with grace and acceptance.
When I die, I will have my ashes buried with or spread where Baba The Mustang shall rest for eternity. And, God Willing, we shall ride across the stars forever. And that would be my heaven.
And when I can afford to do it, I will place the finest granite monument over her resting place that will last 10,000 years. And the inscription will read as a monument to all horses:
Job 39:19–25:
“Have you given the horse strength?
Have you clothed his neck with thunder?
Can you frighten him like a locust?
His majestic snorting strikes terror.
He paws in the valley, and rejoices in his strength;
He gallops into the clash of arms.
He mocks at fear, and is not frightened;
Nor does he turn back from the sword.
The quiver rattles against him,
The glittering spear and javelin.
He devours the distance with fierceness and rage;
Nor does he come to a halt because the trumpet has sounded.
At the blast of the trumpet he says, ‘Aha!’
He smells the battle from afar,
The thunder of captains and shouting."
Farewell, Baba, my beloved horse and true friend. We shall meet again and ride across the heavens forever.
