06/11/2026
Yesterday, I took Diva out on the trail for the first time at Vasquez Rocks. It was absolutely beautiful, but if I’m honest, it was also one of the hardest rides I’ve faced in a long time.
For years, I’ve been battling the anxiety that came after losing the confidence I once had in the saddle. When you’ve spent over 20 years riding and then life, loss, and fear creep in, getting back on isn’t always easy.
About halfway down a very narrow, rocky trail, another rider needed to turn around. There was no room. On one side was a rocky hillside, and on the other was a steep drop. The trail itself was barely held together by a few planks and rebar.
As we tried to maneuver, Diva slipped.
Suddenly, we were sliding backward down the side of the mountain.
There wasn’t time to think. My body simply reacted. Twenty years of riding took over. While my mouth was saying a few choice words, my hands, my balance, and my instincts remembered exactly what to do.
But the biggest lesson wasn’t about me.
It was about trust.
I had to trust that Diva was strong enough, smart enough, and willing to fight her way out of a scary situation. Together, we worked through it, and somehow we both walked away safely.
And something incredible happened.
The anxiety I’ve been carrying for so long disappeared.
My brain was reminded that even after years away and despite feeling out of shape or uncertain, muscle memory is real. Experience doesn’t just vanish because fear shows up. Sometimes it’s still there, waiting for the moment you need it.
Ironically, after experiencing one of my worst fears—a horse slipping down the side of a mountain—I didn’t want to quit. I wanted to keep riding.
This morning, I woke up excited to get back on my horse.
To anyone struggling with fear after a wreck, after losing a heart horse, or after losing confidence: don’t give up. Keep trying. Progress isn’t measured by never being scared. Sometimes it’s measured by riding anyway.
Perseverance is a wonderful thing.
Trust in your horse is an amazing thing.
And sometimes, on the other side of your biggest fear, you’ll find the confidence you’ve been searching for all along.
