07/15/2025
I was asked today whether I used old journals or diaries to help write my book, Heels to Hiking Boots. The readers were complimenting me on the amount of detail I put into events that happened long ago. The answer: No, I had no access to my travel journals and letters while I was writing, and when I recently DID find those old onion skin letters, aerograms, and dusty diaries, I found the writing prosaic and, actually, quite boring.
So how do we write our memoirs without the (questionable) aid of old documents? We write from emotional memory, not cognitive memory. Moments of shame, fear, embarrassment, insecurity, and cringe-worthy events were never documented in letters or even my travel journals, but those times are vivid in my gut, and bring up images that helped me write.
I DID write home and scribble in my travel journals times of awe and inspiration, but those times, too, were easy to recollect, and admittedly very fun to write about. A memoir written entirely about happy times, fun times, awe-inspiring times would be boring and probably without a character arc.
When you search into your emotional memories you can find a story to tell, showing the reader where you've been, and where you've come to. This is what writing with vulnerability is all about. And when you write with vulnerability, readers will relate to your story. You'll draw them in, and keep them there.
Yes, it's scary and difficult to write from emotional memory. But when you do so with service in mind -- how you can best help your readers relate to a story -- then it's critical to do so.
And BTW, this idea of writing from emotional memory doesn't jsut apply to memoir writers. Fiction writers can transform the circumstances of their own emotional memories, without the angst of feeling exposed, into events that will ring true with their readers.
I'd love to hear how others deal with memory in memoir writing, and whether the fiction writers can relate to this idea of writing from vulnerability.
