Kerin Eilis

Kerin Eilis Coaching: fix the moment you know better but don’t do better. DM “STANDARD” | 📷 : kerineilisstudio

Nowadays, everyone has diagnosed everyone.He’s avoidant.He’s toxic.He’s emotionally unavailable.He’s a gaslighter.He’s a...
09/10/2026

Nowadays, everyone has diagnosed everyone.

He’s avoidant.
He’s toxic.
He’s emotionally unavailable.
He’s a gaslighter.
He’s a narcissist.

Personally?

I think a lot of people just have communication issues, different values, different relationship styles, or unresolved 💩 they haven’t learned how to navigate yet.

With that said…

Back in the day, I used to date actual walking red flags.

And there is a difference.

A red flag is a man who follows half-naked women all over IG and when you tell him it bothers you, he laughs at you, dismisses you, or tells you you’re crazy.

A red flag is emotional or physical abuse.
Been there 🙋🏻‍♀️

A red flag is love bombing you, disappearing, coming back when you’ve finally started moving on, and love bombing you all over again.

A red flag is someone who repeatedly lies about things and then somehow makes YOU feel like the problem for questioning him.

That’s different from a trigger.

And it’s different from a values mismatch.

Sometimes he’s not a bad guy.
You just keep having the same fight.

Sometimes he reminds you SO much of your father that when he brings up a specific topic during conflict, you see red…

while another woman might barely react to it.

Sometimes he wants a totally different lifestyle than you do.

Sometimes you want children and he doesn’t.

Sometimes you want a man who is highly ambitious and he genuinely does not care about that.

None of those things necessarily make him a bad person.

They may just make him not YOUR person.

And I think the work is different depending on which camp you’re in.

If you keep dating actual red flags, there’s usually work to do around your self-worth, self-love, boundaries and standards.

If you’re dating good men who simply aren’t right for you?

That becomes a self-trust issue.

Can you leave when you know?

Can you stop trying to turn a good man into the right man?

Can you trust yourself enough to walk away without needing him to become the villain first?

I’ve been in both camps.

And what I will say is…

I actually think the second one can be harder.

(Continued in comments ⬇️)

09/10/2026

He’s tall, he’s got a great job, you both love the same restaurants, you both have a gerbil named Alfred, you “have a connection,” he smells like sex…

Or you just turned 40 and the dating pool feels slim.

Whatever your reason is for wanting to accept low effort, if you are serious about wanting to get married, I promise you:

Those last-minute texts and 10pm phone calls are not going to get you there.

So here is what you do instead.

You don’t answer.

Sorry. I know it’s not some profound 20-page script.

But the real answer is: you don’t respond.

And how do you have the discipline not to respond?

You remember that he had a phone in his hand every single day since your last date a week ago…

and the first time he thought to message you was 8:37pm on Friday night.

And let’s be real.

There’s a pretty good chance his other plans fell through.

That’s being an option.

And why, oh WHY, would you ever want to be someone’s option?

And if that’s still not enough, remember this:

This pattern has NOT gotten you the fairy-tale ending you keep saying you want.

You want a man who adores you.

A man who is also looking for his forever person.

Think about your wedding.

Your life together.

Playing tennis.

Having people over on Sundays.

Traveling together.

Having a forever date to every wedding.

Building an actual LIFE with someone.

Now tell me…

Do you still want to text Mike back?

You’re welcome.

Kerin

P.S. If you want more straight-shooting conversations like this and help holding your standards when it’s so tempting to let something slide “just this once” hit follow.

Once you’ve had a taste of being someone’s intention instead of someone’s option, you’ll never want to go back. 😉

Here’s the thing:Women who trust themselves do not permanently live on the “good list.”They still have moments where the...
09/10/2026

Here’s the thing:

Women who trust themselves do not permanently live on the “good list.”

They still have moments where they stay too long. Say yes when they mean no. Avoid the conversation. Eat the thing. Text the guy. Lower their standard because in that moment, they second-guess themselves, don’t want to make a fuss, choose the easier option… or simply because they’re human.

The difference?

They catch it.

They take ownership of it.

They repair it.

And they practice choosing differently the next time.

Because self-trust isn’t built by never making the “wrong” choice.

It’s built by what you do when you realize you did.

And I say this as a woman who has done every single thing I currently recommend NOT doing.

I do not handle everything perfectly.

But I am constantly using the tools I’ve learned to reconnect to my worth, my standards and ultimately, my truth whenever I feel I’m off track.

No matter where you are in your journey, the same principles apply:

1. Get honest about where you are without shaming yourself.
2. Become aware of the cycles you keep repeating.
3. Start practicing different choices in the moments that actually matter.

Because your life isn’t built from one giant decision.

It’s built in the tiny moments.

The moment you know better…and then choose better.

If you’re self-aware AF, have read the books, listened to the podcasts, maybe even gone to therapy…

but still find yourself repeating the same patterns in real time… this is exactly the work we’re doing inside THE STANDARD.

It’s a month-long voice messaging experience where we work on what happens in the actual moment when emotions are high, logic is low, and the old version (and path of least resistance) wants to take over.

Because knowing better was never the problem.

Learning to choose better when it matters is the work.

DM me “STANDARD” if you’d like to join the waitlist, lock in founders pricing, and be the first to know when we open

09/08/2026

If you missed Part 1 about health + movement and you’re looking to lose weight, I recommend going back and reading that first.

It’s basic information.

But if you don’t have a handle on the basics, you do NOT need to complicate it.

You need to master the basics.

Ok, let’s get on to Part 2: GET YOUR MINDSET UNDER CONTROL.

Being a master over your mind and essentially your emotions is NOT about never having a bad day again.

It’s about not allowing your emotions to rule your decisions.

Because if every bad day, stressful work situation or “f**k it” moment leads you to grab a drink, skip the workout, not show up or completely change the plans you made when you were thinking clearly…

I promise you, you’re going to have a really hard time getting anywhere.

So here are a few things I would do:

1. First thing, I’d buy workout clothes that make me feel really good NOW.

Because if I’m going to be moving my body every single day for the next few months, I’m not spending those months hiding myself in ratty oversized T-shirts waiting until I lose weight to feel hot.

Why would you dress great AFTER you lose the weight but not before?

That plays directly into the belief that you have to EARN looking good.

Earn feeling good.

Earn looking good for love.

Earn feeling confident.

No.

This belief that you have to earn, be worthy of or deserve X is part of why you’re stuck in the loop.

Looking good and feeling good is your birthright and has absolutely nothing to do with your current size.

YOU CHOOSE to lose weight because you want to look and feel a certain way.

Not because losing weight is the grand prize that suddenly gives you permission to dress well, feel sexy, be confident or get the guy.

2.Next, I would plug into some type of mindset practice at the beginning of my day. Meditation. Breathwork. Journaling. Whatever works for you.

But I would do it 👏🏻 every 👏🏻 single 👏🏻 day.

And positive thinking alone isn’t enough.

You have to be willing to go deeper and look at what you actually believe subconsciously.

Because it’s not just your thoughts affecting your life. It’s the emotions attached to those thoughts

09/04/2026

PART 1: MOVEMENT + HEALTH

I would commit to exercising in some capacity every single day.

And every single day, I would find a different way to move my body until I found things that I absolutely LOVED to do.

I’m talking walking, hiking, tennis, dance class, pickleball, running, Pilates, Solidcore… it’s honestly endless.

There is absolutely no reason why movement shouldn’t be in your life DAILY.

Then I’d keep doing the things I loved.

Next, I’d add 4 days of hard strength training, an Alpha Fit class or 45–60 minutes of weights.

Especially as you age, you need muscle to raise your metabolism and lower body fat.

I’d stop being cheap and hire a proper nutritionist and trainer so I knew I was fueling and moving my body to its absolute capacity.

And for the person in the back saying they don’t have the money…

If you legitimately don’t have the money, download the Peloton app for $29 a month, watch an advanced class, and make it your goal to work toward being able to do what they do.

I’d learn exactly what that standard looks and feels like and then I’d know how to hold myself to it on my own.

OK, LET’S TALK NUTRITION…

This one is tricky because there is health nutrition (the quality of your food) and then there are macros that help you dial in fat loss.

My suggestion would be to find women online with muscle & see if they show what they eat or see if you can hire them.

But essentially, it’s protein you want to be most aware of.

Are you eating enough?

It’s about 1 gram of protein per pound. For the average woman, about 120–130 grams per day. These are averages.

With my years of working with women, I will say that most women’s daily fat intake is through the roof, and that is why they can’t lose weight.

It’s not carbs.

I don’t know where carbs got such a bad rap, but carbs are not your problem.

It’s your avocado toast, your protein bars, the bags of nuts you keep eating that’s what’s making you unable to lose the weight.

Next, I’d start tracking how your emotions are tied to food or alcohol.

This starts to trickle into mindset, but…

(Keep reading in comments 👇🏻)

Yesterday was a HARD day.I’m on day 16 of no alcohol and I almost said, “F**k it. Where’s the wine?”But I didn’t because...
09/03/2026

Yesterday was a HARD day.

I’m on day 16 of no alcohol and I almost said, “F**k it. Where’s the wine?”

But I didn’t because:

1. What would that have served?
2. What does that say about my ability to cope?
3. Isn’t sitting with these emotions instead of numbing out exactly the key to the next level I desperately want to unlock and the whole reason I’m frustrated in the first place?

I didn’t have that drink.

Instead, yesterday I had a pretty good breakdown and went to bed early. Had a really good sleep, woke up today and I’m back on 🔥

There are so many different ways I handle being in a bad mood, having all the feels, or when something completely out of my control happens and disturbs my peace.

My goal is to show you the different ways you can handle the multitude of things that can go badly and disrupt YOUR peace.

Because everyone is clear about who they are when they’re their optimal selves.

But who are you when s**t hits the fan?

When you aren’t losing the weight. Your husband still hasn’t shown up. Your job is driving you nuts.
It doesn’t seem like it’s working out with the new guy.
You’re in your luteal phase and so damn tired.

THAT’S the person I’m interested in.

If you’re here for that kind of conversation, hit the follow button and save this post so you remember who the hell you are.

Then drop your very specific question in the comments:

Where do you keep getting derailed?

Where do you say “f**k it” and eat the food, have the drink, text him back, and choose temporary satisfaction over the long-term gain and vision?

Let me help you with THAT moment.

Because that moment defines everything that you’re currently experiencing.

I’ll see you in the comments.

How is it that women are some of the most intuitive beings (especially mothers) yet we have been programmed to deeply do...
09/02/2026

How is it that women are some of the most intuitive beings (especially mothers) yet we have been programmed to deeply doubt ourselves?

How ironic.

I’m proud to say each generation seems to be becoming more aware of their own self-knowledge and power.

But that still leaves us with US.

The generation of women 35+ who are deeply wise, know what to do…and yet the patterns repeat.

So how do we break this old programming cycle?

We build self-trust.

Most people believe it’s motivation that gets you to your goals.

WRONG.

It’s deep self-trust.

And self-trust is built brick by brick through discipline.

Saying what you will do …and then doing it.

Setting the standard and living by it.

You may have hard days. You may have days where you break down and cry.

But without fail, you collect yourself, reassess and keep going.

How do I know this?

Because I am a woman who has completely transformed her relationship with her body.

I went from bulimia, binging and chronic dieting 👉🏻 to intuitive eating and maintaining my happy weight.

I went from dating the bad boys and being addicted to breadcrumbs 👉🏻 to only being attracted to and attracting stable men who are looking for commitment and giving their best effort.

And for the past 3 years, I’ve been navigating closing down a business that was no longer aligned, having NO idea what I wanted to do next, to now having a very big vision and balancing all the elements of growing a business, making money and all the stress that comes with it.

And I can tell you…

The breakdowns still happen.

The self-doubt still comes up.

The question of “Am I doing this right?” still creeps in.

But my standard, my expectation of myself, has been built.

And it’s not what I say out loud on the internet.

It’s who I am when I’m alone and there is no one there to see me but ME!

How about you?

When you could settle, give in, make the exception…

Who are you when breaking the promise you made to yourself would be easier and no one else would ever know but you?

09/01/2026

Is Manifesting Real?

If you’ve been wanting something desperately and it’s not happening, I can almost guarantee it has absolutely nothing to do with your lack of positive affirmations.

It comes down to your conviction and your frequency.

If you want to hear me ramble about what I’ve figured out about manifesting so far and how I’ve learned to actually create the reality I want in my body + dating life, and am now applying the same principles to my career + wealth give this video a watch. ✨

ity

08/27/2026

“It’s okay.”
“I don’t want to bother the waiter.”
“I feel bad.”
“It’s not that big of a deal.”

Yes, Linda. What you put into your body IS THAT BIG OF A DEAL.

And also… we’re here for what, 100 years at best?

I don’t know about you, but I’d like as many meals as humanly possible to be exactly what I want to eat.

Said as a major foodie 🙋🏻‍♀️

But put food preferences aside for a minute, because this is actually about something bigger.

It’s about being willing to eat whatever, skip the workout, have the drink, or say “it’s fine” because you don’t want to rock the boat…

At the expense of a promise you made to yourself.

Why would you do that?

Is being agreeable really THAT important to you?

Having standards isn’t always convenient.

It requires being clear about what you want, where you’re going, and what choices actually get you there.

Everyone wants the body.
Everyone wants the energy.
Everyone wants to feel incredible in their clothes.

But I can count on one hand the number of people I know who are actively working toward it when it’s NOT Monday, the sun isn’t shining, they’re not motivated, and life is absolutely not cooperating.

Because THAT is the skill.

Learning your body so well that you know how to take care of it even on your worst of the worst days!

Learning the discipline to keep your health a priority without making your entire life revolve around being “healthy.”

I’m basically obsessed with food. Anyone who knows me knows this.

But I had to heal my emotions enough that food was no longer my coping mechanism.

Then I had to build the discipline to show up when “I don’t want to” until eventually, I know longer had to think about it, it just was who I was and I didn’t have to negotiate with myself anymore.

It was just my standard.

I created a program where this is exactly what we work on: your standards, your identity and getting out of your own way.

It’s for people who already know what to do, but just aren’t doing it in the moment when they need to make a different decision.

If you’d like more details, DM me.

Or, if you want to be the first to know wh

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