05/31/2026
So I as move from maybe 75% intent closer to 95% intent on starting a 13U "travel" team here in Union County, I keep pondering this question...."What type of team will it be?"
What I realized, is the answer to that question depends on the parents of the kids who show up for trials and make the team. Here's what I have experienced over my 25 years of coaching youth sports. There's never a perfect team, there's never a perfect player, there's never a perfect parent and there's never a perfect coach; however, the only way to reduce the level of frustration in any participant of the team is to clearly communicate the goals of the team before the season even starts, and even before the first minute of tryouts.
If you have been involved in Youth Sports more than 5 minutes, you will see teams form and the parents create this social Bond to where they all become best buddies and hang out and the moms become best friends and they start hosting play dates for the kids together and then they start vacationing together and everyone "loves the team" even if the team is horrible and the kid is not being taught anything of note. And, if we're being honest, which I always strive to be, It's usually the moms that are a big fan of the team.
Then there are the trophy hunting teams. The teams led by former pro athletes who approach a sevenu baseball tournament with the tenacity of a great white shark chasing a seal and they will do anything to earn that cheap plastic ring and trophy. Parents usually are not close yet at all because it is so competitive, kids, often times are miserable, coaches are aggressive and will do anything up to and including cheating to win a game. On these teams the kids get left in the wake, clicks form very quickly amongst the parents and it's a pretty horrible experience. And again, often times, you are not seeing actual skilled coaching, but skilled management of talented players. The coach is truly do not make a difference, they just know how to squeeze the lemon to get the most juice.
So here I found myself realizing this but wanting to make it very clear, that my goal on every team I have every coached, regardless of skill level of the player, is to move that player forward. I want to see the kid improve. I want to see their attitude improve. They're confidence. Obviously there's skill level. They're understanding of the game. I want to push them beyond what they feel like they are capable of. I do not baby kids. I do not beat them up, but I will hold them accountable and I expect them to hold themselves accountable and hold each other accountable.
So will you ever see me bend the rules or manipulate the game or cheat in order to increase the odds of us winning? Absolutely not. Will you see me using Bush League tactics to try to score a run. Nope. Will you see me hosting pool parties and play dates for the team to try to build camaraderie between them and the parents? No. I'm not there to be your kids friend and I'm not worried if the other teammates are their friends either. It is not my concern how friendly the parents are with one another. What I'm looking for are parents of kids who want to be challenged. Parents of kids who want a coach to push their child to grow. To test them. To find their breaking limit. To run practices where the child is stressed so that when they are in a close game, there's no pressure, there's no stress because Coach Dave has made practice so difficult that even a tide ball game with two outs and bases loaded is nothing because they've been there before.
When it come to the kids I'm looking for, I'm looking for kids who are competitive. Kids who want to play and want to win. Kids, who when they do lose, don't shut down and go cry to Mama but evaluate the game and their performance and ask the question, did I do my best? And if not, then they have a tough conversation with themselves. I want kids to hold themselves accountable. Who are not lazy. Who want to improve. Do we want to win games? Of course we do, and in order to do that, we've got to have kids who want to play the game and who are competitive and have that desire to win but who can understand that a loss just shows you where your weakness is and where one needs to improve.
So if all of that interest you, then you sound like a good candidate for the UCPatriots. Shoot me a message for more information and be on the lookout for tryout dates.