07/13/2026
Wowa weewa.
Something amazing is afoot. And it took a second injury in six months to jolt me awake to something beautiful.
I think back to early-thirty-some-odd me and I wish I could breathe into her belly the wisdom I have now. (And then, as soon as I type that, I laugh, because I am sure fifty some odd me will be looking back at this late-thirty me and have a whole ‘nother swirl of insight to share.) Growing pains, every inch of wisdom gained, and I’m creaking, squeaking as I expand a bit further out from where I once was.
I ditched a few things this week: the structure of a training plan and the rhythm of a coach and the hard-pressed lines of do this thing at this time so there is room for rest and maybe a little fun if we get ‘round to it.
Mainly I ditched my running watch, the tool that keeps the pace and time and alerts me of mishaps and keeps me in line. The band ‘round my wrist that tracks the hours that I sleep and tells me which were deep and which I dreamt and if I was well rested or not. The journal lines once spent on working through the data, now lost lines of wondering, the mathematical equations of not enough or enough-ness.
The sun has done her job and gripped the earth of our northern hemisphere, slicing rays that have drenched my wrist’s skin, covering shade by shade the white outline proof that a watch once lived there full time. The same skin tone now reaches from fingertip to elbow and you’d never know I was a runner with a tan line that gave me away.
There’s freedom here. I didn’t quite know how caged I was, the facade of variety in choosing any watch face I’d like — digital or traditional, white on black or reversed, purple tones, gold inflection, the choice of swirls and unique backgrounds — all saying the same, all reading the time, all telling me to stay put or keep moving or else risk being left behind. But now, the watch is sitting in a drawer, in the closet, in my office — Russian nesting dolls tucked one into the other — out of sight, out of mind, out of the clasp ‘round my life. I smirk, knowing that freedom is a mindset and I keep arriving, a lesson at a time, to a grand emerging of my truest self.
(I know I am being both poetic and dramatic — something I’m sure my brother would lovingly scold me about— but I don’t care. It helps me as I make good sense of where I’m at in this world, what I am learning in this body, how I’m being on this timeline.)
I don’t know when I’ll run again.
(Read on!)
Ditched the watch, ditched the running -- gained the extraordinary.