03/19/2026
Great info from our adult self defense program.
👪 One of the best things you can do for your child is guide them away from this fawn response. If you see it in them, its time to break out the love and parenting skills.
🌱 Often how we grow up, how we develop as a child carries out into adulthood, and the fawn "mode" is not only a magnet for controlling and abusive people, but its actually a fear respone.
💥 Most people have heard of fight and flight, some have heard of freeze, but we also teach about fawn in PLAN A which is widely recognized as the 4th. Its commonly referred to as "please and appease" and its main purpose for existing is an attempt to control the situation by keeping another person calm.
• Fawns struggle with boundary setting which is one of the most important skills in violence prevention.
• They may lack identity and they usually lack a social life.
• They don't have, or at least don't express wants, needs, or desires because the focus is never on them and they are probably afraid to rock the boat anyway.
• They often defend the abuser and/or take responsibility for that person's feelings.
• They tend to live in a type of constant fear that they may not recognize as fear because they become accustomed to it.
🩶 It is not possible to live a rational happy and peaceful life in this state.
🚩 Ive seen it myself multiple times where a parent did not recognize the fawn response in their child because they themselves were a victim of abuse from the very same person, and as stated above its common to defend the abuser.
👍 On the other hand, a child may be in a perfectly healthy household but still lean toward a fawn mode simply because of things like nature (nature and nurture), high empathy, or a social strategy. This isn't technically a fear response, but having a tendacy to slip into this mode can have an effect later in life if taken too far.
🔪 We recognize that criminals want easy...they are deterred by too many obstacles wether the goal is robbery, sexual assault, ect...
💥This is the same for the controlling and abusive type. They often seek out fawn types to be in relationships with. They may do this subconsciously (creepy, screwed up type) or consciously (sociopathic type) but either way its all the same on the recieving end.
✍️ Breaking out of any fear response starts with recognizing that it's happening.
🫷 Avoiding becoming a fawn starts with being quite the opposite. This can be practice through strong boundary setting, learning to trust your intuition, and not only building a strong sense of self but understanding that you are worthy of being treated well.
✔️ These things are all covered in our PLAN A training.
🙏 Please do not hesitate to reach out if you have any questions.
