CABREWING: A three-day debacle on Labor Day weekend along the banks of the mighty river called "Mohican" (which translates to "drunk person falls in water"). If you want to: get engaged, break-up, conceive a child, fall into fire, meet local law enforcement, witness an arrest, lose a shoe, go off-road in a bus, threaten small children, pick a fight with hillbillies, make new friends with hillbilli
es, steal a pair of pants, and much more, then this is your weekend. (DISCLAIMER: all that sh*t has actually happened)
Are you new? If so (or if you were you just too intoxicated last year to remember the protocol) here are the details of CABREWING.
2 0 2 1 D A T E S:
Friday, September 3rd to Monday, September 6th. C O S T:
$65 bucks per person. SPACE IS LIMITED AND RETURNING CAMPERS HAVE PRIORITY. If you can't stay the whole weekend you are the worst person on earth. But here are prorated options anyway. P A C K A G E S:
"I Made My Liver Cry" package (arriving Friday, departing Monday, entire weekend). "Molly the Moth" package (arriving Friday and getting kicked off the island, departing Sunday). "Puerto Rican" package (of course you are late, arriving Saturday, departing Monday). "Mexican" package (arriving Sunday and doing nothing but sitting in a boat all day, departing Monday). Your cost will be adjusted depending on your package. W H A T I S I N C L U D E D:
F O O D:
We will provide: DINNER as you arrive Friday, BREAKFAST, LUNCH, AND DINNER on Saturday, BREAKFAST, LUNCH, AND DINNER on Sunday, and BREAKFAST as you depart Monday. If you plan to get black-out drunk, please find a buddy who will save you some food (or make you THE BEST BURGER EVER). If you miss all that you can still get in on midnight grilled cheese. A L S O I N C L U D E D:
Port-o-Potties, Firewood, Ice, Bottled Water, Orange Juice, Tomato Juice, Milk. and our Saturday Lemonade Stand featuring Mimosas and Bloody Mary's. W H A T I S N O T I N C L U D E D:
Any other beverages besides those listed above. You are separately responsible for your campground fee ($10.00 PER PERSON, per night) and the fee for the pontoon boat - @ $17 - $20 PER PERSON - depends on the number of people and fuel cost). New folks - go to the campground office and tell them you are with the "NAU" group (sounds like "NOW"). You will pay your fee and be directed to our area. S C H E D U L E:
Arrive on Friday at your leisure. The weekend is yours to hike, bike, rock-climb.. however, you'd actually have to stay sober to do it though, which leaves most of us completely out. Plan to do a little sitting around. Also, plan to do a little drinking. Saturday - Nothing quite says "bring on the sh*tshow" better than a bloody mary or mimosa so go visit the lemonade stand once you drag your lazy a** out of your tent. Be prepared to get your ass kicked by Lou Who in the Co****le tournament. If you want to avoid it you can just heckle. Or go and play Shut the Box or LCR. Or go take a ride into town. Whatever, I'm not your mom. Saturday night - Flip Cup tournament Or Cards Against Humanity if our cups have already been flipped, if you know what I mean ;)
Sunday. What do drunk people need most? A giant raft in the middle of a deep lake. A Pontoon Boat is SUCH a brilliant idea. Bring your approved flotation devices, 'cause you're gonna need them. Monday eat, pack, leave, go home, sleep for two days. Cause' we are too old for this s**t. So, that's the scoop. Questions? Comments? Post away. But please, reply ASAP and "SEE YOU ON THE RIVER!"
