08/03/2021
Florida springs.
Be careful is all I say.
This was a few years ago. Took the family to Ginnie Springs, a beautiful Florida water spot for a day of swimming and a little picnic. So as I was swimming in the crystal clear water, watching my son floundering around in his water wings, and just having a good ol time, my son suddenly stopped, pointed at the water and said "Look daddy, a lizard!"
I looked over and saw that no, it was NOT a lizard that was swimming over to us, it was a snake. After a quick examination, I realized that this was a Water Moccasin, and a large one at that, heading right for us!
So Yelling for my son to back away, I waded out to grab him and drag him back to shore. The snake was making a beeline for us, which is weird because most of the time they avoid human contact. I started to splash water at it, trying to slow it down enough so I could reach the shore before it got too close.
So as I was backing up, slapping water at a poisonous snake with one hand and dragging a laughing child (who had no idea what was going on) with the other, I reached close enough to the shoreline to grab a branch that had fallen from a tree. It was long and pretty sturdy. It was perfect for what needed to be done.
So as the snake got in close, I went all caveman on it and bashed it a dozen times with the branch. It worked. The snake started to float away, dead as a doornail. I then realized that all the people swimming around in this water would not take too kindly to bumping into a four foot dead moccasin, so using the branch, I launched the snake for a stretch of woods off to my right.
Well, I guess the snake was not balanced right on the branch, and I was full of Adrenalin, so instead of the woods, the snake flew high into the air, drifting off to the right where PLOP. It landed square on a picnic table. To make matters worse, it landed on a pile of shoes that a girl scout troop had left when they went wading in the water.
"Oh Crap!" was all i could think, as I began to quickly swim across the spring to remove the snake from the table, but as I was swimming, I heard them.. the giggles and laughter of little 12 year old girls returning to get their shoes. I stopped cold. I was too late. I began to swim away, trying to hide myself as I saw the first curly haired head approach the table. There was laughing, there was chatting and talking... then there was a pause.
And that is when the screaming started.
If you have never heard a dozen 12 year old girls scream in horror as they saw a large, bloody snake draped across their shoes, I cannot even begin to explain the sound. Even as i dove underwater, I heard the screaming.
Sometimes... at night... I still hear the screams.
TLDR- Killed a snake, launched it with a stick across a table filled with 12 year old girls shoes. the screams... they still echo in those woods to this very day.