02/23/2026
Can’t love this straightforward exercise enough!
Creating boundaries is hard. Most of us are very uncomfortable doing it.
Here’s a simple approach:
👉 Write down a few things that you need or are important to you, and WHY it’s important to you.
👉 Being specific, write down how you allow it to be undermined. (You are allowing it, if not undermining it yourself)
👉 write down a new behavior that will block that from happening
BOUNDARIES ARE YOURS TO SET AND YOURS TO HONOR.
We teach others how we are willing to be treated.
When we show we don’t honor our own needs and boundaries … we teach others they don’t need to honor them either.
Use the example below to map out some ways in which you can do a better job on your own behalf.
Setting boundaries isn't just about saying no. It's about identifying what you value, recognizing what needs to change to protect that value, and then following through with action. Here's the framework.
Start with what you value. Your peace, your time, your emotional safety, your identity, your healing, your confidence. Then identify what needs to stop to protect that value. If you value your peace, you need to stop engaging with people who drain you. If you value your time, you need to stop over-committing out of guilt.
If you value your emotional safety, you need to stop tolerating disrespect to keep the peace. If you value your identity, you need to stop shrinking yourself to make others comfortable. If you value your healing, you need to stop revisiting relationships that repeatedly hurt you. If you value your confidence, you need to stop seeking validation from people who don't see your worth.
Then honor it through action. Limit access without explanation. Say no to things that don't align with your priorities. Walk away from conversations that turn toxic. Speak your truth even when it's uncomfortable. Choose distance over dysfunction. Trust your own judgment first.
Boundaries without action are just wishes.