05/09/2026
Low Grit? Poor Resilience in Our Modern Youth
From Author J. Alaric Justice
Let’s flip the script a little, since mental health has become such a huge topic in our society today.
I had a patient this week who was put on su***de watch for a few days… for getting jumped.
And I was like “What? Hold on, buddy, let’s talk about this.”
Cuz yours truly was jumped quite a few times, and I seriously NEVER thought about doing harm to myself afterwards. If I was at risk of anything after that, it was for “homicidal ideation,” not suicidal.
Plus, I was a scrapper, so you can rest assured that I did everything I could to make sure as many opponents as possible regretted coming at me. If you came within range of ANY part of me, you got hurt… as in I literally chipped my front teeth by trying to catch a fist in my mouth when three other guys were holding me once.
No joke. Lucky my jaw wasn’t broken.
And after those events, there were times when I cried… and others when I laughed as I was cleaning myself up later.
But, there was no thought of self-harm. Instead, I was intent to be stronger or better or more aware or to just prove others wrong about something.
So, when I heard this kid’s story — yeah, it feels weird calling a 27 year old a kid, but I honestly think I’d have thought this stuff was childish and weak when I was 27 myself — I just shook my head in disbelief.
Then, it hit me. Overprotective parents today, or those who go out of their way to prevent their kids from ever experiencing social discomfort of any sort, is a huge part of the problem. It reduces the ability of a child to cope with common pressures, and that extends into adulthood.
I mean, I came up being taken to ghetto projects every weekend. As a light-skinned “high-yellow” or “black-wasted” mulatto — I’d later learn that melungeon is the correct regional term for us mixed cultural Native-derived families — I learned all too early that my skin tone alone kept me from fitting in. There were guys who attacked me just because they thought I was a “pretty boy” or that I’d somehow get more attention.
And my petite short mother would just calmly say, “Lil buddy, you can’t stop them people from thinking like that… no amounts of rocks that you throw can stop them from calling you names… so just learn to read the signs and stay away from them.”
Read the Signs. Stay Away.
My father had a different approach. He was a long-removed ruralite who became a “slicker” or a “transplant” after his military time, so he saw a different kind of social pressure to “stay with your own” and “go back where you came from.” But, there were more jobs in the city, so he did what he had to for marital/ family stability.
And it wasn’t easy.
He had tales of a drug-head ex-wife who’d literally get all of his home furnishings stolen or repossessed because she couldn’t be trusted with money. And a family that backstabbed him so much that his own daughter didn’t want anything to do with him.
Yet, there he was — in his mid-50s when I was born, and still one of strongest examples of gently smiling FAFO manhood I have ever seen — telling me to study Dale Carnegie and Zig Ziglar books to better understand how to overcome social obstacles in life.
So, how did I combine those two messages?
I became more distant from people, watching them more before interacting. Reading books and comic books, and drawing pictures.
In short, I spent more time alone, learning to enjoy my own company. Very early.
And I feel like too many kids today are not learning that.
But, let’s hear what other sources say…
“The declining grit and resilience in youth is a multifaceted crisis driven by overprotective parenting, reduced independent play, and intense social media pressure, creating a ‘perfect storm’ that increases vulnerability to su***de. In 2021, nearly 22% of high school students considered su***de, with mental health declining sharply between 2011 and 2021” (according to ParentTV).
Factors Contributing to Declining Resilience & Grit
1. Overparenting and "Helicopter" Parenting
— Parents often shield children from discomfort, failure, and challenges, preventing them from developing essential coping mechanisms. This fosters "learned helplessness," where kids rely on adults to solve problems constantly, even to the point of failing to accept responsibility for normal daily essential tasks.
2. Lack of Autonomy or Independent Play
— A multi-decade decline in unsupervised, unstructured play has limited opportunities for children to learn risk assessment, social navigation, and emotional regulation.
3. Social Media and "The Great Rewiring"
— Constant screen time (averaging 4.8 hours daily) replaces in-person interaction, fueling social comparison, body image issues, and cyberbullying. This "digital dopamine" loop often leads to addiction, sleep deprivation, and depression.
4. Pressure to Succeed
— According to the NIH, high-stakes academic and extracurricular expectations, coupled with constant comparison on social media, create extreme anxiety and a fragile sense of self-worth based on external validation.
Impact on Mental Health and Increased Su***de Risk
A. Poor Problem-Solving Skills
— The inability to manage small, unexpected social obstacles can lead to feelings of being overwhelmed, causing adolescents to feel "suffocated" by their circumstances.
B. Increased Suicidal Ideation
— In 2021, 1 in 10 high school students reported attempting su***de. The rise is partially attributed to a "permissive attitude towards su***de" among peers, and high-risk behaviors online.
C. Rising Vulnerability in Girls and LGBTQ+ Youth
— Again, the NIH has startling statistics: Over 40% of teenage girls felt persistently sad or hopeless in 2021, nearly double the rate of boys, with high rates of self-reported su***de consideration.
The Role of Social Obstacles
— Unexpected social hurdles—such as peer rejection, romantic break-ups, or online bullying—can feel catastrophic due to a lack of previous exposure to adversity. The 24/7 nature of social media means these conflicts are constant, public, and inescapable, preventing the "cooling off" period that existed in previous generations..
Now, here’s the thing: We had social hurdles before the internet and smartphones and satellite TV. We knew rejection — as is obvious with my stories of throwing rocks at racial name-callers and the scores of unspoken tales of unrequited youth infatuation that started as early as the fourth grade — but we didn’t let it “get us down.”
We were raised to expect obstacles, with common phrases like “you can’t please everyone” and “everybody ain’t gonna like you” and “don’t you worry about what others think.” The truth was put before us, plainly and simply and often, to protect us. From early ages.
What are you doing to your kids, America? Have you considered that your teens and tweens and near-30s children will be woefully inadequate for handling normal UNIVERSAL pressures that have always existed and will never stop?
Mankind will always be rough around the edges, so you can’t raise kids that are too thin-skinned to handle things that are never going to be completely eliminated.
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