06/15/2026
Perfectly Said From Someone: 🤯
A recent article featured Olympic boxing medalist Tony Jeffries saying that if parents could choose just one martial art for their kids, it should be jiu-jitsu.
As both a coach and a parent, I understand exactly where he’s coming from.
When my son first started training, I probably had the same thoughts a lot of jiu-jitsu parents have. Because I competed for many years, teach jiu-jitsu, and have spent most of my life around the sport, part of me imagined he would fall completely in love with it. I pictured him wanting to compete, train all the time, and follow the same path I did.
What I quickly realized is that those weren’t the things that mattered most.
The biggest benefits had nothing to do with medals or tournaments.
For my son, and for many of the kids I’ve taught over the years, the real value comes from learning coordination, confidence, communication, and how to interact with other children. Since he’s an only child, jiu-jitsu gave him an environment where he could solve problems, work with partners, and learn how to navigate challenges on his own.
That’s one of the reasons I don’t allow parents to coach from the sidelines during class.
Parents are always welcome to watch, but the mat is one of the few places where kids get to be independent. They have to figure things out for themselves. They have to listen, adapt, and solve problems without mom or dad stepping in every time something gets difficult.
And that’s where some of the biggest lessons happen.
One thing I always tell parents is that their child will probably cry at some point. Not because they’re hurt, but because they’re frustrated.
Maybe they lost a match they thought they would win.
Maybe another kid did better than them.
Maybe they can’t perform a technique the way they want.
That’s normal.
In fact, I think it’s healthy.
Those moments teach resilience. They teach kids that things won’t always go their way, and that failure isn’t the end of the world. Today they’re frustrated because they lost a round during training. Tomorrow those same lessons help them deal with rejection, setbacks, and disappointments in adult life.
Another thing I love about jiu-jitsu is what I call “immediate karma.”
The kid who thinks he’s better than everyone else eventually runs into someone who gives him a hard time. The overly aggressive kid learns humility. The shy kid learns confidence. The kid who struggles socially learns how to work with teammates and training partners.
The mat has a way of teaching lessons that adults sometimes struggle to explain.
Over the years, I’ve seen incredible transformations in kids. I’ve watched children who barely spoke become confident leaders. I’ve seen kids with behavioral issues become more disciplined. I’ve seen timid kids become comfortable in their own skin.
That’s why I enjoy teaching kids.
A lot of people think kids classes are harder than teaching adults. I don’t necessarily agree. It’s different.
Adults often come in with years of habits, beliefs, and fixed ways of thinking. Kids may resist at first, but once they realize you’re helping them and once they start seeing progress, they buy in completely. They trust the process. They become excited to learn.
And that’s when the transformation starts.
At the end of the day, I don’t think every child needs to become a champion.
If jiu-jitsu helps them become more confident, more resilient, more independent, and better prepared for life, that’s already a huge victory.
That’s what makes it so valuable.
What life lesson do you think jiu-jitsu teaches kids better than any other activity?
