03/22/2022
Caring Is Cool
A Story About Ryan Terefenko by: Bo Lori 3.18.22
The game of lacrosse has introduced me to some incredible people. One of them is Ryan Terefenko, aka Terry. Terry was a teammate of mine for two years in college, and then I had the privilege of being one of his coaches in his fifth year at Ohio State. Currently, Ryan is one of the best midfielders in the world. From the first day I met Terry, I knew he was a different level of competitor than I had ever been around. He was under recruited out of high school and lived his life with a chip on his shoulder. And he still does. No one has ever wanted anything for Ryan more than he’s wanted it for himself. I remember watching him run his first run test in the fall of his freshman year. After the first rep of the 300-yard shuttle test, Brad Ross, one of our assistant coaches at the time, looked at me let out a subtle “holy sh*t.” It was less about how fast he ran it, and more about how hard he ran it – if you’ve ever seen Ryan run, you know what I’m talking about.
Terry and I became great friends and I loved having him as a teammate, even though the only playing time I ever got was when he was too tired to go in… and that rarely happened because his motor is absurd… Coach Crane: “Ter, you good? … Ryan: “No, I need one.” … Coach Crane: “Okay, Bo you’re up.” And I certainly don’t blame Coach Crane; I wanted Ryan to go in too!
Terry was tough as nails. His freshman year he played almost every shift in the Big Ten tournament with an XL glove jammed over a cast on his hand because he broke his thumb. His fifth year, he broke a bone in his arm, and three weeks after having surgery and getting a rod put in his arm, he was back on the field playing with a hard cast hidden by a long sleeve t-shirt. Absolute warrior.
In Terry’s fifth year, we did what was called Senior Spotlight, where each senior had an opportunity to share a little about his journey and give some advice to the younger guys. Ryan’s senior spotlight came later in the spring. We had just finished practice on a beautiful day in Franklin County, and the team gathered to take a seat in a semi-circle in the middle of the field. Ryan took a knee in front of the team as he prepared to talk, and as his knee hit the turf, everything went silent. I’ll never forget how quiet everything got. I think the birds even stopped chirping to hear Ryan speak. It was like he had a secret everyone else was dying to know. He had that kind of effect as a leader because he just walked the walk differently than everyone else. When he got to the advice portion of his spotlight, he delivered one of the most profound messages I’ve ever heard – so I immediately wrote it down. He said, “I feel like a lot of people in our generation think caring isn’t cool. Like having a ‘whatever’ attitude towards life and being indifferent about stuff is a cool thing. I see it all the time, even on social media. And I hate that.” He was speaking calmly but more conviction was starting to creep into his voice, “Guys, it is cool to care. Like caring is a really f***** cool thing. Going all in and pouring your heart into something is cool. Having passion is cool. Loving your teammates and this brotherhood is cool. So, my advice is to care a lot and make the very most of this experience, and you will leave with no regrets.”
The message is so simple but so powerful. It’s one I certainly have to remind myself of at times because this world regularly tries to pull us towards ‘whatever’. We all have a deep desire to be cool – to be admired, appreciated, and seen in a positive light by others. Yet, the way this world often tells us to go about being cool is all backwards. Ryan used his spotlight to do his part in helping straighten us out. Appreciate you, three-four!
Caring is cool. Being lukewarm isn’t cool. Being on the fence isn’t cool. Making excuses and giving yourself an out isn’t cool. Taking the easy way or the safe way isn’t cool. Being all talk isn’t cool. Caring is cool. Working really hard is cool. Caring about other people is cool. Stepping out of your comfort zone is cool. Trying and failing is cool. Telling someone the truth is cool. Doing what you say you will do is cool. Caring is cool.
