11/20/2017
Third Time’s a Charm: Opening Day is November 21!
By: JR Blurry
We’re opening one lift and one run with 100% treated sewage snow!
It is always an interesting decision to make when to open the ski area, especially since we continue to violate religious freedoms of 13 Indigenous Nations, risk someone getting sick from our experimental use of treated sewage snowmaking, destroy rare alpine habitat, and have manipulated state regulations and City Council decisions. But that is not what keeps me up at night, no two seasons are ever alike and with our very really massively impressively yuge snowmaking system, it has become more or less certain. All we need to do is take advantage of Indigenous Peoples (which is easier than you think), sidestep environmental regulations, bribe politicians and the chamber of commerce, and with our cold hearts, make as much treated sewage snow as possible. With daily re-evaluation of our life choices, the mountain operations team and I, push and groom until we determine there is enough snow to inveigle the most perspicacious skier. This year October and November have been warmer than normal and our production was limited. Sad! However, this has nothing to do with so-called “climate change.” The good citizens of Flagstaff have flushed their toilets (we’re allocated up to 1.5 million gallons per day by the City of Flagstaff) enough for us to ski and snowboard from the Midway unload station on the Agassiz chairlift to the bottom.
Our whole staff has been very hard at work desecrating this mountain and we look forward to seeing you in your white sheets on the slopes this winter. I would like to acknowledge and thank our hardworking, dedicated staff (that are at most risk of exposure) who play an integral role in ensuring that our for-profit private ski business that exploits public lands and receives subsidized reclaimed water, makes as much money as possible regardless of the impacts.
Here’s to a great desecration ahead!
JR Blurry
