05/04/2022
The wheels of the NAF grind slow, but they grind finely as well - while we're waiting to get one more NAF number so we can upload the stats and make it all official, here's the highlights from our team of goblinoid prognosticators:....
Over three matches, we had 191 casualties. That was a slight slowing of pace from the first round, when out of the gate the marauding maniacs ended 69 players' careers. Biggest single casualty fest of the tournament was in the first round, when a combination of Black Orcs with Fungus and Bomber and an army of Snotlings clattered together and left 14 players maimed or killed. No matches were injury-free, although in the first round the enigmatically named CHORFS clattered into the Necromantic Night Terrors for a single casualty between them.
Looking at the breakdown by race, Humans inflicted the most casualties (32) but there were three teams playing, and they also sustained 24 casualties. The two Norse teams lived up to their glass cannon reputation, taking down 14 players but losing 15 in turn, and as you might have guessed, Snotlings suffered the most (43 injuries) while only inflicting 19. However, next year we need some kind of record for the most painful brick wall to run into: TJ's Gore Tribe broke 14 players while only losing 2.
Every team scored at least once, with two exceptions. I can take some blame for one of those, using the full force of my mind and every prayer to Nuffle I could think of to force a thick-skulled goblin to fall over as he tried to GFI into the end zone against my lamentable vampires. One team managed a clean sheet for the whole tournament, not letting a single TD past them.
I had hoped for some exciting inducements (or some very questionable picks) and I didn't feel let down - there was one Fink the Fixer, two biassed referees, a few weather mages, a single chainsaw, two Glarts, a scattering of Grim Ironjaws (was that something that offended the Big Boys, to take one of the antidotes to bigness? I don't know) and quite a few Extra Team Trainings (possibly because some team builds are hard to fix into 1000 TV if you also like rerolls - but why take rerolls? Nuffle hands out double skulls like candy, to teach people about fortitude!) A single Scylla ran around clawing people, there were at least three riotous rookies, and one longhaired lovely flinging pigskins for the only elf team on the Astrogranite that day. Morg sent his excuses, as the big fellow's ego is so swollen from his appearances in other tournaments that he probably couldn't fit through the doors of Evergreen Lanes.
We're already scheming on ways to make next year's Brawl even bigger. Stay tuned!
