08/02/2026
It’s gotten worse in the past few years!
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An Open Letter to the Ontario Lacrosse Association
To the Ontario Lacrosse Association,
For the past three years, my family has proudly been part of the Tyendinaga lacrosse community.
We've watched something truly incredible happen.
What started as an organization struggling to field a full team has transformed into one with multiple U9 teams, multiple U11 teams, and a growing U7 program. The sport's Creator's Game is thriving again within a community where it belongs, and we have felt incredibly honoured to witness that growth alongside Indigenous families.
Over these past few years, we've learned that lacrosse is so much more than a game. We've learned about its history, its significance, and the pride it carries for so many. Those lessons have been a gift to our family.
Which is exactly why writing this hurts so much.
This season, I watched my son fall out of love with the game.
Not because of losing.
Not because of hard work.
Not because of physical play.
Because of inconsistency.
Because of officiating that left players, coaches, and parents questioning what they were watching week after week.
For those who know Jayden, you know exactly how he plays. He gives 100% every single shift. He's physical, fearless, and he plays the game hard but he also plays it clean.
He's the captain of his team for a reason.
His teammates absolutely adore him. They look up to him. He carries himself with pride, and all he has ever wanted to do is lead by example and be there for his team.
Yet throughout this season, I watched something change.
Instead of playing with confidence, he began playing with fear.
Fear that a clean body check would result in another penalty.
Fear that he'd be removed from another game.
Fear that standing up for himself would somehow become unsportsmanlike conduct.
One moment continues to replay in my mind.
At a tournament in Kahnawà:ke, after delivering what we believed was a clean check, Jayden stood still while multiple players from the opposing team repeatedly two-handed slashed him with their sticks.
He didn't retaliate.
He didn't throw a punch.
He didn't even defend himself.
He simply stood there.
He was the player ejected from the game.
The others stayed.
We drove nearly three hours to watch our son play twelve minutes.
Try explaining that to a twelve-year-old who has done everything he can to be a leader.
Week after week, the message became clear:
Play scared.
Don't hit too hard.
Don't compete too hard.
Because you never know when you'll be the one leaving the floor.
No child should play a sport feeling that way.
The irony is that while everyone talks about growing the game, we're quietly losing kids who already love it.
Not because they don't love lacrosse.
Because they no longer trust that the game will be officiated fairly enough to allow them to simply play.
This past weekend at Provincials, Jayden sustained what may be his second concussion in three years of playing lacrosse.
As a parent, that shakes you.
When player safety is already a concern, inconsistent officiating becomes more than frustrating.
It becomes a player welfare issue.
Throughout the season, many families reached out to the OLA looking for answers.
The response so many received was:
"Without referees, there is no game."
I agree.
Without referees, there is no game.
But without players, there isn't one either.
Without children who feel safe.
Without families willing to invest thousands of dollars and countless hours.
Without coaches dedicating their evenings.
Without volunteers.
Without communities like Tyendinaga working tirelessly to revitalize the Creator's Game.
There is no future.
This isn't about one game or one referee.
It's about a pattern that too many families have experienced this season.
Since Provincials, I've watched videos circulating from games across Ontario that left me absolutely sick.
One video shows a referee physically throwing a young player into the penalty box. When that player attempts to come back out, the referee forcefully pushes him back in again.
Another shows a player being speared with no penalty called resulting in players fighting in retaliation.
In our own final game, fights broke out on the floor, yet only players from our team were penalized.
Whether every individual call was technically correct isn't even the point anymore.
The point is that confidence in the consistency of officiating is being lost.
When parents, coaches, and players leave games confused instead of understanding why decisions were made, something needs to be examined.
When children begin playing tentatively, not because they're afraid of the other team, but because they're afraid of unpredictable officiating, we have a responsibility to ask whether the system is serving the game as well as it could.
Officials have one of the hardest jobs in sports.
I don't envy them.
I know they make split-second decisions under enormous pressure.
But difficult jobs still require training.
They require mentorship.
They require accountability.
They require ongoing development.
Supporting officials and expecting consistency are not opposing ideas.
In fact, they go hand in hand.
If we truly want to grow this game, we have to invest in everyone involved including our referees.
Because the goal should never be to criticize officials.
The goal should be to create an environment where players, coaches, officials, and families all have confidence that the game is being managed fairly, safely, and consistently.
If my son were walking away from lacrosse because he simply didn't enjoy it anymore, that would be hard enough.
But watching him consider walking away because he no longer feels protected by the game itself is something entirely different.
That should concern every single person who loves this sport.
I'm not Indigenous, so I cannot speak to what it must feel like for Indigenous communities to watch the Creator's Game evolve over generations.
But I can speak as a mother.
A mother who has had the privilege of witnessing the incredible revitalization of lacrosse in Tyendinaga.
A mother who has watched Indigenous families pour their hearts into growing this game and creating opportunities for children.
And a mother who has watched her own son slowly lose the joy he once felt every time he stepped onto the floor.
That is heartbreaking.
Lacrosse deserves better.
Our officials deserve the support and development they need to succeed.
Our coaches deserve consistency.
Our parents deserve confidence.
But most importantly...
Our kids deserve to play this beautiful game with passion instead of fear.
I truly believe we can do better.
And for every child who still loves the Creator's Game, I hope we choose to do better
— A very heartbroken lacrosse mom
